Do you know how much your overthinking is holding you back?
Because I don’t even think I did until the past year if I’m honest. And I also didn’t realise how many guises overthinking takes either.
Perfectionism, fear, procrastination, self-doubt, overthinking – they’re all hanging out like bosom buddies!
But what do I mean by ‘overthinking’ exactly?
I mean those times when you think yourself into an absolute curly-wurly-twizzle for hours, but don’t actually *DO* a jot. Those times when you think yourself into every worst case scenario possible, that there isn’t a slither of hope or a good case scenario left. Those times when you think yourself so hard into the very pits of self-doubt, you’re virtually at the bottom of its sweaty under-belly.
Yep. That. 😉 That’s what I mean.
And just in case you’re still not sure, I also mean those times when you can think yourself into such inner complexity and chaos, it can start to affect your physical breathing from the panic of it all. Or those times when you think yourself into such complete and utter paralysis, you legit can’t move or do a damn thing. Even getting up to put the kettle on is E.F.F.O.R.T. because your brain is that wasted. (And I don’t mean 🤘 ‘Spring Break!’-wasted. Sadly. I mean overthunk-wasted).
So I guess what I’m starting to do here is paint the picture of what overthinking actually is, and I hope you can begin to really see the scale of the problem here. Hopefully it’s becoming evident to see how much it’s been holding you back.
So is this you honey? Are you a serial overthinker? Do you turn things over in your brain a bazillion amount of times to the point of not even being able to think through the simplest of tasks?
If you are, you’re not alone buddy! ‘Cause I’m right there witcha!
My personal experience of overthinking has been a slippery ol’ ride, namely because (like I mentioned earlier), I didn’t even realise how big a part overthinking played in my particular set of challenges. My beliefs and limitations – I was aware of. My perfectionism – acutely aware. But overthinking? Totally under the radar. Which is why I felt compelled to write about it this week and share what I’ve learnt on my journey with it.
So why are we doing this to ourselves?
Why are we freely delivering ourselves into that sweaty under-belly of self-doubt on the regular? Why do we repeatedly find ourselves in this curly-wurly-twizzle of mind-complexity, chaos and paralysis? Why gawd WHHHHY?!
Because our comfort zone freaking LOVES it!
Lemme tell ye, your comfort zone will go to extraordinary lengths to keep you close by. Like, it’s a little bit creepy if you try and personify it for a sec. Imagine your comfort zone as an actual person. Clingy AF. Let’s call them ‘Cumfrey’. Now it doesn’t matter a jot to Cumfrey what depths of distress, stress, pressure you go through at their expense, as long as you’re safe and nearby where they can see you, they’re happy out. They’re literally sat watching you, delightfully content in your misery! It’s proper twisted right?!
So here’s why you need to get a grip on it.
It’s making you think that everything needs to be perfect.
(It totally doesn’t).
It’s making you think that you need to be perfect.
(You totally don’t).
It’s making you feel like you’re inadequate/useless/hopeless.
(You’re totally not).
It’s making you feel like you can’t move forward without absolute, crystal-clear clarity.
(You totally can).
And it’s making you feel like you’re not cut-out for your dreams.
(You totally are).
And when I say get a grip, I mean becoming aware of when you’re overthinking. Noticing it. Catching yourself at it. And then empowering yourself with the power to change how you think. Because believe it or not, you have that power. I promise 🙏
For me, my overthinking is most rife when I’m trying to grow my business, trying to push myself into the unknown, trying to expand my thinking – basically when I’m just trying to dip my toe outside my comfort zone in a positive, progressive way. Which is barmy really innit? I’m only trying to do stuff my heart’s telling me it wants me to do. I’m not plotting and planning to rob a bank! But I may as well be – ‘cause that’s the level of fear and complexity it’s flinging at me. When my overthinking happens, my brain whirs almost audibly, and it’s had me paralysed on way more occasions that not. AND, my overthinking has held me back in all five of the above points too. See, I told you you’re not alone! 😉
So how did I move beyond that? How did I stop it from holding me back?
I got a verbal beating from someone I was working on my business with. And when I say ‘verbal beating’, it wasn’t aggressive or cruel or spiteful, it was simply a massive wollop around the head with the truth.
I realised my overthinking was making me think that everything needed to be perfect. And it doesn’t. I realised it was making me think that I needed to be perfect. And I don’t. I realised it was making me feel like I’m inadequate/useless/hopeless. And I’m not. I realised it was making me feel like I couldn’t move forward without absolute, crystal-clear clarity. And I can. And I realised it was making me feel like I wasn’t cut-out for my dreams. And I am.
So what started as an ‘ouch’ with a big fat dose of denial, it slowly then evolved into an ‘Ahhhhhhh, NOW I seeeeeeeee’.
Which is what I’m hoping this post is gonna serve as for you too darl. So in the kindest way possible…
You’re overthinking yourself into the opposite direction of everything you’re capable of. So stop.
I hope this has helped you shine a bit of a spotlight on your limiting behaviour, do let me know if it has 🙏 And if you’d love some help working through your overthinking to help you get closer to feeling cut-out for your dreams, you need The Imperfect Life® Designer online program in your life honey 😉 and you can join the waitlist here.
Until next weekend gorgeous face 💋