How to stop your fears from squashing your dreams, for keeps.

I've been posting a blog every week for about 18 months now, and I tell ye, talking and writing about fear has since become one of my favourite pastimes!

And that's because, the more and more I get to interact with you and this gorgeous #imperfestionista community, the more I hear (and totally relate) to your struggles, and the more I uncover that sooooo much of those boil down to plain and simple fear.

So it's mighty time I dedicated a post to it, oui?!

Let's talk about fear as a human condition to start with shall we?  👉🏻 So overall, fear is a good thing, it's part of our genetic makeup from when we were cave-dwellers, and its purpose is arguably one of the reasons the human race is still in existence – it instinctively warned us when we were in danger, and gave us a fight or flight instinct in response. In a nutshell, it kept us safe and alive. Pretty handy if you ask me.

Fast forward a couple hundred thousand years-ish, and as you can imagine, we don't reeeeeally need fear in quite the same capacity on a daily basis. But our minds/bodies, by instinct think we do! And herein lies our issue. We slap fear on to anything and everything we encounter that's new, challenging, or uncomfortable, even if that very same 'anything and everything' is something we desperately want. Bit messed up right?

So what the hell do you do with that? If it's an in-built human instinct, how are you ever gonna get rid of it?!  😩

The truth is = you don't.

And you also don't want to. Hear me out  🙏🏻 If you got to a place where you became completely fearless, the world would actually become quite lethal to your existence! You'd be walking into the road to oncoming traffic oblivious, you'd walk straight off a cliff-edge should you happen to be near one (!) or start swallowing knives to see how they taste. Extremes obvs, but the instinct is still of crazy-value to you and your continuing aliveness, so you shouldn't want to get rid of it.

But!  ☝🏻 When fear is all-consuming and controlling when it comes to matters a little less extreme, say  🤔 you want to start painting because you love it, but your terror of being judged is paralysing you from even picking up your brushes – then this kinda fear, we can work with  😎 so let's walk through how you can get from fear to freedom!

You need to acknowledge your fear

First of all, you really need to unravel what this fear is. What is it that you're actually scared of? It sometimes might not even be what you think it is. When I've helped clients work through their fears, what they thought they were most afraid of, wasn't actually their biggest block at all, but something else entirely. So pull this baby apart, and pay attention to how it physically makes you feel when you think about it.

You need to live out your fear

Now let's make it real. You need to explore how bad this could really get, if you decided to plough on despite your fear. Would it reeeeeally go to the lengths of homelessness and begging on the streets? Or when you take a moment to think it through, is the worst case scenario perhaps just that you might feel a little embarrassed if it all went tits-up?  🤔 And if nothing particularly catastrophic is the worst it's going to get, then ask yourself if it'll still matter in a week, month or year. Chances are, probably not. So what's next?

You need a back-up survival plan

To really grab a hold of this fear, you need a strategy in place of what you'd do to survive, should the absolute worst happen. So say the worst sitch became actual, real life. Chilling I know but just imagine it for a moment. Picture yourself there in it, right now and think about what you're gonna do to claw your way out of it. How are you gonna repair and recover from this? The chances are again, that you're an intelligent, educated badass, who has more than one option to choose at this point. So the world didn't implode, right? You survived!

Which also means, now you have this survival strategy under your belt, if you carried on despite your fear, and then the worst did in fact happen, you know exactly what you're gonna do to get back in the game.

Soooooo realistically, there's no excuse for you not to push through this fear! Right?! 👏🏻 

You need to take action

So here you are, at the precipice of possibility – all that fear that had been in front of you for so long; blocking your progress, your dreams, your gut instinct, has now been rationalised into insignificance! Sure the fear's still there, but instead of it being an unclimbable 10ft brick wall, it's now a 2ft brick border to a 1970s car park  😂 (i.e, you can easily step over it to the other side if you wanted to).

I would LOVE to hear in the comments what you're gonna do with all this new possibility you've found! Tell me tell me tell me!

Until next weekend honeypot 💋

Big love and all the feels, Kerry :D