5 steps to make your break-up the best thing that ever happened to you.

I know it's as cheesy as hell, but the phrase of 'your most important relationship, is the one you have with yourself' is so damn true. 

And none more so than when for whatever reason, you find yourself in a break-up. Whether they or you end the relationship – the person you 100% have to look out for is you. Sure, you can try putting the other party first to begin with, but I promise you, it won't help them or you. The only way you're both gonna make it out intact is if you both put yourselves first. True story.

So here you are, the relationship's over because you've been dumped or are doing the dumping. And it feels fecking awful. Food doesn't taste right, if you can even eat. Funny stuff that used to make you laugh, just isn't in the least bit amusing. All corners of your world just feel so different and unsettled and you can't imagine ever feeling yourself again. Everything that happens reminds you of them, and this big expanse of an 'unknown future' lies ahead, just feels terrifying. 

So how do you do this? How do you go from feeling alone, vulnerable, raw, maybe even rock bottom, and turn it into the best thing that ever happened to you? Well I'll tell ye! (And btw, feeling all those things are the exact ingredients you need, so if you relate, you're on to a winner!) 😁

Step #1: Cut contact.

Undoubtedly THE hardest part of the process, and probably the most drawn-out-longer-than-is-really-necessary part too. It most likely feels like the most unnatural thing to do at first – no longer communicating with someone you may have spent months, years, even decades of your 'every day' with, but it really is the first step to turning this quagmire of emotions into something positive. This is the part where you'll probably try and say 'let's be friends' at first, thinking that that's the fairest most adult way to handle this, and hey, maybe it is for some people, but for the rest of us, keeping contact is actually unfair. Cutting contact takes ladyballs, it takes willpower, and it takes a thick skin as you're most likely going to be called 'a heartles b*tch' as a result. But it's the essential foundation to build everything else up from.

Step #2: Don't slag them.

As highly tempting as this is [especially if you were the dumpee  👉🏻here's a hug btw > ❤️️<], publicly tearing your ex a new one never tends to result to much in the way of positivity and gearing you up to create the new, highly-awesome-you. Do you know what I mean? This is particularly relevant in the world of social media, broadcasting your loathing for someone's dicky behaviour actually says more about you than it does about the dick – and we don't wanna be making them look good, right!?  🙌🏻 Sure you might get a hit of short-term relief from the event of it all, but all in all, it's not gonna make you feel so hot about yourself. And that's all we're concerned about, remember?

Step #3: Recruit one or more Drunk Text Wardens.

Once you've taken steps one and two, you're inevitably gonna have a wobble (or seven) in the weeks/months/years that follow. And when said wobble(s) occur-eth, you need to have established your backup. Now this warden can be a bestie, a cousin, a sister, a close colleague, or all of the aforementioned. Their key qualification being: they've got your back and will do whatever it takes to stop you doing something they know you'll regret, i.e, drunk text your ex.

Step #4: Be proud of your little wins.

I mean wow, look how far you've come honey. You activated those ladyballs to cut contact and begrudgingly came across as a cold-hearted ice queen (even though you know, and I know you're not); you bit your lip and retained your class when everything in your fury wanted to give them a super-public bashing; and you appointed the most loyal of wardens that protected your dignity when times got tough. AND amongst all that, you probably managed to get up, get dressed, go about your working day and go to bed like a normal human. You've managed to keep yourself occupied/distracted, maybe you even managed some exercise and healthy eating too. So celebrate those wins!  🍻 However small they feel to you. They're no easy feat at times like these so drink 'em in and feel proud of yourself. You deserve it!

Step #5: Then, upgrade into some big wins.

So at this stage of the process, you've come a helluva long way. Crikey have you. There's no set timescale to work through these steps, but essentially, after completing steps one to four, you've officially reached the holy grail of break-ups = your head's now in a space that's all about you. Yessssss!  💪🏻 G'wan my lil' imperfectionista!  😍 You're now ready to upgrade into some big wins my friend.

Now these 'big wins' can mean anything you want them to. They can be things like going for a promotion or that job you've always wanted; they could be starting that business you've always talked about; they could be going travelling to that corner of the planet you've always wanted to visit; they could be taking up that class or hobby you've always wanted to have a bash at; they could be something simple like going for that haircut or new image you've always wanted to attempt to pull off  😁 – can you spot the running theme here? You've brought yourself to a place where you feel free enough, empowered enough and 'you' enough to do those things you've always wanted. Hell, why not do them all if you feel so inclined?!

And that's how you can make this break-up the best thing that ever happened to you my friend – you empower yourself to finally start living that life you always wanted. You truly can find yourself as part of the process, even if you didn't realise they were lost until now ❤️️

I'd love to know your essential steps to getting through a break-up in the comments below  🙏🏻 and if you know someone who needs some posivibes from a break-up, it'd mean the absolute world to me if you could share this with them 😊

Until next weekend pookachoo 💋

Big love and all the feels, Kerry :D