What to do when you don’t know what your goals/aspirations are.
It’s all very well goal setting and prioritising what you want to work on when you know what your goals and aspirations are innit. But what happens when you’ve no freaking idea?
How the bejaysus, or where the bejaysus can you start finding out what it is that you DO want?
Well that ‘where’ is right here my friend. Right here ❤️️
Before we start I’ll be honest with you though, I’ve had a loooong list of life and business goals to work towards pretty consistently for about seven years now. I’ve never not got something I’m working towards (Oh the fun my family has living with me!) 😄 But that doesn’t mean that I don’t acutely remember how it felt like to not. I vividly remember that sinking ‘autopilot’ feeling, where one year would just ‘smudge’ into another and then into another, without anything notable ever happening. And more crucially, I clearly remember that sense of disappointment in myself for feeling I’d made zero progress in helping myself too. All of it then topped with a huge dollop of frustration that I didn’t know what to do to change any of it either. What a delightful, neverending cycle right?!
And d’ye know, I want to add a disclaimer at this point – because this post isn’t for everyone. If you don’t have those feelings, if you don’t have that urge, if you don’t harbour that need to feel like you’re progressing, if you don’t feel that inner frustration year in year out, you don’t need this post! You don’t have to goal set, aspire for more or change a thing honey. The Imperfect Life and I are 100% not about trying to make anyone feel ‘less than’, inadequate or feel that they need to be on a constant quest for improvement. Quite the opposite in fact.
Hear me when I say this: YOU. ARE. 100%. ENOUGH. JUST. AS. YOU. ARE.
Always. In fact you’re MORE than enough, deliciously enough! 😋
But if like me, you want change, if like me, your frustration grows from a place of knowing inside that you’re meant for more, if like me, your need for a sense of progress is born from feeling that you’re not fulfilling your true potential, then c’mere darl, I’ve got you boo 😘 let’s hug 👉❤️️👈
So assuming you’re still reading because you are like me and are feeling like I’ve felt, 😊 let’s dive into how we can get you outta this through my three crucial tips;
#1 tip: Simple is beautiful.
It really and truly is. And no more true in the case of finding your feet in what you want from your life. You wanted to know where you can start, and here it is…
Set yourself some super-tiny, super-simple, super-achievable mini-goals. And I’m talking so simple, you’ll think I’ve lost the plot 😄 Some ideas could be;
Walk for 10 minutes every day for a week.
Put £1 aside each day for a week to buy something I don’t normally buy for myself.
Write down three things I feel grateful for every day for a week.
You get the gist. The key is, that they’re not hard to come up with, they’re not all that hard to stick to because you’re only committing yourself to a week, but you DO have to choose something you don’t normally do. And you DO have to have self-integrity. You’ve got to make a promise to yourself that you’ll see it [whatever you set yourself] through.
Why? Because you SHOULD NEVER underestimate the power of self-integrity. That one day you slip up, you unthinkingly prioritise something or someone else instead, and you slip to the bottom of your list? This my friend, is a KILLER. At the time it seems like nothing major, no planet exploded or stopped revolving. But in terms of your goals, in terms of helping yourself work out what it is that you want, my friend it’s SUPER MAJOR. Because by doing so, you’re reinforcing this message to yourself that you can’t rely on yourself, you can’t be trusted to see things through, you can’t show up when you’re needed.
So show 👏 up 👏 for 👏 yourself 👏– it’s just a week!
And why am I suggesting this tip?
Because when you go simple, when you give your life a tiiiiiny achievable tweak, when you see that YES! You ARE the kind of person you can trust to follow through on stuff – you begin to create the momentum of success. You begin to create a ripple effect of self-respect. You begin to create a vibration of trust, abundance and gratitude, and you begin to start listening to your desires more.
So don’t stop there, set yourself another simple goal for the week after! 🙌
#2 tip: Love not loathe.
So let’s say you followed my first tip to a tee. You’ve set yourself some super-simple, realistic and achievable goals, you’ve knocked them out the park like a boss and you want more of this stuff. You know you’re capable of more. You want to make the most of this momentum and see what’s next for you.
So gift yourself with more honey! Aim higher, set the same goal(s) for two weeks or a month in duration. Or set yourself bigger goals with bigger commitments and bigger results.
But do it from love not loathing.
And this is so so important. When you come to levelling up your goals from super-simple, when you come to looking at your life and thinking about some things you might want to change, make sure you’re coming from a place of love, not loathing.
I’ll give you an example – I was recently Maid of Honour at my best friend’s wedding and I have one helluva sweet tooth that helps keep my curves ‘curvy’. About six weeks before the wedding, I had my bridesmaid dress fitting and it was ahem, ‘snug’ shall we say 😊 I thought about how I wanted to feel on the day and how I wanted to feel about myself in the dress, so I set myself the goal of cutting out sweet treats until after the day. (And let me just say, when I say ‘cut out’, for SIX WEEKS that is a SACRIFICE for me!) 😂 But because the goal wasn’t set from a place of loathing, it wasn’t set from a place of disgust or shame about my body either, I knew even before I started that I was going to achieve it. I knew I was going to see it through. #1. Because I know how important promises to myself are (as do you now too!). And #2. Because I’d packaged the goal as a gift for myself; I’d framed it as a real moment to look forward to, so why wouldn’t I want to give that to myself?
And so I did! Some days were harder than others but it wasn’t that difficult tbh, because I was coming from a place of loving myself not loathing.
And that’s so important for you to do too. You have to work on liking yourself first, knowing yourself first, being kind to yourself first and being loving toward yourself FIRST.
#3 tip: Curate your company (and ruthlessly).
Lastly, but OMG not least, is to be honest with yourself about the company you keep. Zig Ziglar was so right when he said that ‘You can’t fly with the eagles when you’re walking with the turkeys’. And when you think about it, it’s impossible innit?
So if you are really struggling to find out what your goals and aspirations are, look around you my friend – are you consciously spending time with people who are working on theirs? Are you consciously spending time with people who are creating a life that they want? Or are you spending time with people who much prefer to dream-squash or dream-pick, rather than dream-chase?
And d’ye know what lovely? I see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself. I see that you’re made for more, even though you don’t yet know what that more is. The fact that you’ve read this far counts for so so much in my eyes. And if you don’t have any dreamers, doers, believers and thinkers to surround yourself with, then let me hook you up 😊
I have the most gorgeously supportive community in The Imperfect Life® Designer program that’s full of women just like you. Women who are ready for change. Women who are open to challenges. Women who are daring to dream. And I’d freaking LOVE for you to meet them ❤️️
I’m opening the doors again to The Imperfect Life® Designer program in a few short weeks and I think it’d be right up your street. It’s here to help you start finding [and living] your thing, and love the messy adventure of making it happen! If you’re curious to know more (and you’re up for getting an epic VIP gift when enrolment opens), then come join the waitlist here.
However, even if the program and community isn’t on your radar, but you found this post helpful in some way, I’d give you my last Rolo if you shared this post and gave me a tag on Instagram 🙏😍 thanks so much darl.
Until next weekend gorgeous face 💋