Would you love to stop caring what people think? Read this.
First, let me clarify – of course you're gonna care what people think. And of course it's no bad thing to be the kind of person who's considerate and conscious of other people's feelings.
But! ☝🏻 When you find yourself in a space where you're living your life in a way to simply please others (because you're so hung up on what people think) – Houston, we got a problem 😊
Why? Because in doing that, you've just bought yourself a one-way ticket to a) never being happy, b) never being able to make others happy, and c) repeating this loop until the end of time. And d'ye know what? I have a strong suspicion that you're on this planet for a slightly better version of life than that ❤️️ so where do you go from here? I've got some ideas... 😇
How's about you...
Stop walking with chickens and start flying with eagles.
Not literally of course 😉 but definitely figuratively. Never-ever-ever-Amen underestimate the power of the company you keep. It's hands down one of the most influential forces in your life. If you really wanna stop spending your days constantly being worried of what other people think, then you need to spend a hella lot more time with people who don't worry what people think; strong-minded, authentic, focused people who are never afraid to to truly be themselves – i.e, the eagles of the world. Study them. Learn from them, and start flying with them.
Sure you probably have some folk you're pretty attached to that are perfectly content 'walking with chickens', but remind yourself that you have a choice (and a duty to yourself and your happiness IMHO) to expand your reach and find some 'eagles' to soar with too. You've 100% gotta be ruthless and selective about the company you keep. Even just making some great connections in Facebook groups (on topics that are of particular interest to you) can be an awesome start.
Try some kind of solo adventure.
Now this can be as adventurous or as tame, as far-flung or as un-flung, as long or short as you please, but there is really is something to be said about heading off on an adventure of and on your own. Not only do you get to really push yourself out of your normal realms of comfort (let's face it, travelling with someone is fab, but it won't quite give you that sense of pride and accomplishment in yourself that travelling on your own does). I can hand-on-heart say it really is a transformational experience. It gives any issues you're experiencing a healthy dose of context and perspective, it teaches you about yourself in hyper-speed, and it presents you with opportunities your brain just would've found impossible to fathom or imagine beforehand.
Now my solo adventure was only for two weeks to the west coast of the US back in 2008. And d'ye know, even at the time (and I still believe it now), I knew it was literally THE stand-out time of my life. It was an organised tour with 14 strangers and as much as I was anxious about the idea of it in the build up (I was still struggling with depression at the time and was having panic attacks about the possibility of me bursting out crying on a stranger; plus I was very much a hair-straighteners and manicures-kinda girl and this was full-on camping with bugs and bears!), but everything about it was e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I needed at the time. And yep, in the build-up to it, I'd sold my house, left a 12-year relationship and quit my job (!) so I'd already been pretty controversial in terms of bucking the status quo, but this trip just iced the cake in empowering myself to truly not give a shizzball what people thought of me and my life choices!
Realise you're not a big deal.
Well let's just be clear, of course you are absolutely a big deal. You're talented and unique and intelligent and powerful, and you have the potential in you to quite literally be and do anything you want to be and do 💪🏻 and I for one am crazy-proud of you finally taking the reins.
But what I mean is, everyone's as busy as hell honey – so in the scheme of things, you're not actually that much of a big deal in their life. Read: if you're spending a huge bulk of your time worrying about what they think about you/your choices/your mistakes/your successes et al, then that time of your is completely wasted – because they're battling with too much of their own sh*t quite frankly! Sure they care about you and wanna see you happy, but your life is yours to curate and create, as is theirs their own.
And this shouldn't feel in any way depressing that you're not a big deal, it should feel empowering! People don't think about your life anywhere near as much as their own, or anywhere near as much as you think they do, which equals = freedom for you to live your life as you please! #result! 🙌🏻
Learn how to float your own boat.
By that I mean – really take some time to work out what's important to you in your own life. Not your life in relation to everyone else in it – but what's important to you. This can come in the form of knowing what you're working towards (and no, you don't need to have a clear picture of what that is yet – although I can totally help you with that!). But just knowing that you're in the process of change/finding a direction/discovering your values/working out what's important to you, can really help drown out the noise of what everyone else is doing/saying. You're on a mission for yourself and that's all that's going to matter.
What this'll do y'see, is it'll gradually train you to be more ruthless in your choices – you'll feel empowered to say yes and no to different opportunities for the right reasons, and you'll feel empowered to live life on your own terms – not a life built on peer pressure or needing to 'fit in'.
Be a team player.
Of your own team that is. And I think this is probably the biggest one of all 👉🏻 The team of me, myself and I. So how many times have you caught yourself either a) talking yourself out of something because you feel scared of it? b) telling yourself you're not good enough/experienced enough/rich enough etc. to have something? c) talking down to yourself saying you're stupid/an idiot/useless and more? My guess is = quite often. Ammi right? Well stop. 😁Could you imagine 'supporting' your mates talking that kinda talk?! Of course not!
I mean, do you have any idea of the kind of potential you can unleash on your life if you cut out all that self-trash-talk?! Like annnnny idea?! Limitless potential is what it is honey – LIMITLESS I tell ye! 😂 Y'see, when you make a conscious decision to both realise and commit to the idea that hey, "I'm on my own side here", you're quite frankly unstoppable. And how does an unstoppable person live their life? 🤔 Without giving two smokin' shites what people think! 💩💩
I hope I've given you some things to think about, and if you enjoyed the read, I'd just be your BFF forever if you shared this with someone you thought might enjoy it too 😍
Until next weekend punpernickel 💋