Why you shouldn't hate on your quarter-life crisis, and love it instead!
I'm guessing that things have felt 'off' for you for a while, and it's been hard to put your finger on it, but hearing the term 'quarter-life crisis' or maybe even 'third-life crisis' sounds pretty damn close, right?
And sure, maybe 'crisis' sounds a bit dramatic so you might lean more towards 'a journey', 'feeling stuck' or 'in a rut', but however we wanna paraphrase it, you're in it and stuff feels like it needs to change, like super-bad. Boy oh boy, do I feel you honey ❤️️ it can be one sucky experience to go through.
My own quarter-life crisis consumed over two years of my life from late 2005 to early 2008, from age 25 to 27. I think the reason it was such a drawn-out experience for me was that in hindsight, I could definitely hear what my gut was telling me it needed early on, but I quite frankly chose to ignore it, naively thinking it would go away and leave me the hell alone! I didn't want to face (or perhaps I wasn't ready to face) the prospect of change in my life. I was hating on my crisis, having all-night pity-parties and was in denial big-time. As a result, I eventually became engulfed in depression. And this my friend, is no bueno. I don't want you to go through that too 🙏🏻 and the good news is, you don't have to! 'Cause I've got you boo 😊
And this is what's inspired this week's post 👉🏻 I wonder how less painful and drawn-out my crisis could've been if I'd have just embraced the experience from the outset, rather than try to hide from it? 🤔
If I'd have had a blog like this to read, would I have responded to my initial gut feelings a little differently? I think I would have in honesty. The internet was around back then of course, but it was nothing like it is now. There were no communities talking about their quarter-life crises collectively. I felt completely isolated and alone in my crisis, and I think that compounded my fear of change (and my denial) too – it felt like I was the only one going through this and feeling this way. But of course I now know that I wasn't. And one of the biggest reasons why The Imperfect Life® exists for you today is from knowing how helpful a resource this would've been for me back in 2005 – I want to share what I've learnt on my squiggly, messy, bananas journey since, so your's doesn't have to be anywhere near as painful. (In fact, if I'm honest, it's my mission to help you love it!) 😍
Why? Because despite my crisis being as drawn-out, as traumatic and as dramatic as it was, my belief is this: having a life crisis is one of the single-most stand-out experiences of your life. And this is I think why you should actually love yours:
It won't take no for an answer.
And of course at the time as I mentioned, I hated this aspect of my quarter-life crisis. Why would it just not leave me the hell alone?! I didn't ask to feel weird from the second I woke up until the second I went to bed. I didn't ask to struggle with the most basic of everyday tasks. So why was it happening to me? Because your gut, your instincts, your quarter-life crisis – it won't (and shouldn't) take no for an answer. Run and hide as you might, you're in this situation for a reason – maybe you've made a series of commitments and decisions that were more about pleasing others than yourself (erm me 🙋🏻), maybe your approach to something like getting your career going or meeting 'the one' keeps falling flat on its face – the fact of both instances is – you need to change how you're doing things to ensure you live your life fully and happily. So yep, it shouldn't let you get away with it really should it? Knowing your crisis knows you inside out and has your back is something to thank it and love it for ❤️️
You'll never forget it and all the priceless lessons and experiences it brings you.
You're gonna fudge your way through it, I've no doubt about that. You're gonna make mistakes and poor choices too, but that isn't something to be fearful of at all – because that's genuinely what it's allllll about – trial and error and discovering your likes and dislikes. What you'll learn about yourself in this process will serve you for the rest. of. your. life. Like the whole run of it. You're gonna learn stuff about yourself that can only be learnt through experiencing 'a crisis'; that moment in time when you have to act on your gut. You're gonna be able to take all kinds of tricky future situations with a pinch of salt because you truly know who you are and what you're about. And believe me, you think that might be a given, but it's not – so many people have zero idea who they are and what they're about. Throughout their whole adult life. So yep, you getting this opportunity now with your whole life ahead of you? That's something to love on 😉
You'll never have a more loaded opportunity to live your life, your way.
Leading on nicely from my last point – learning who you are and what you want truly is a privilege and so many people never do. So if you feel you've reached crisis-point, take it for what it is honey 👉🏻 this is your moment! This is your time to finally live your life, your way. Sure we can all make incremental and occasional changes throughout our life if our mood and inclination takes us, but when all you wanna do is rip up the script of life and start over – this is your ticket (and reason!) to do so! No holds barred! We know it won't take no for an answer anyway so you can't avoid it, so realising how huge an opportunity this is to create the life you want instead truly is something to love and appreciate ay.
Don't be scared of it and don't live in fear of it because it truly will be one of the most stand-out experiences of your life. Buckle in babycakes – this is about to get F.U.N! 😁Until next week sexypants 💋
PS, If this post has really resonated with you but you're really struggling to see how to move forward, there's two ways we could work together to help you get this show on the road – my upcoming online course The Imperfect Life® Designer has been described as "like having your very own Life Coach in a tin!" 😂 you can join the waitlist for that here, and I also do one-to-one coaching sessions and packages if you feel you need something more personal. Let me know what you feel you need help with here and I'll be in touch super-soon: