Why trying to find motivation is a complete waste of time.
You've been there, I've been there – there's a bunch of stuff that we know we need to do (and often even want to do!), but we can't for the life of us feel motivated to do it. Ammi riiiight? 😩
Well I've got some news for you chica – that motivation aint comin'! Like EVER! Which I know at this point sounds like give-uppy quitter-talk, but lemme tell ye – it's pure empowering, enlightenment!
Hear me out. You're gonna like this.
Whether you're struggling with motivation to start a new passion project or business, whether you're struggling to peel yourself off the sofa and work out (regularly or intermittently!), whether you're struggling to just get up at a decent time each morning and 'start your day right' – it doesn't actually matter. Your issue is always going to be the same 👉🏻you just cannot get motivated to get moving.
But why? 🤔
The reason is quite simple – as a human, you're not programmed to do things that are uncomfortable or difficult or scary or new. This programming was a huge advantage back in our cave-dwelling days of course, when Hunter/Gatherer was our main vocation. The days when our lives quite literally depended on avoiding discomfort, difficulty, scareyness or newness (and if we did happen to be exposed to those things, it was likely that our number was very soon to be up) 😵But that programming is nooooot so much an advantage nowadays when our time is generally spent sat on our butts, ordering takeouts, flitting between a laptop and a mobile phone ay 🙄that programming needs a good ol' software update fo' sho'.
Y'see our minds are simply programmed to protect us from feeling all those challenging feelings, and they do everything they can to stop us doing things that it thinks might hurt us. So that passion project you can't get out of your head? Your inner cave-ette just assumes it'll be scary – so nope, it's not gonna help you out on lending you motivation to get started. That leaner, fitter, healthier body you want from working out? Your inner cave-ette assumes it'll be difficult for you to push yourself physically, so it's not helping you with your get up and go. And your new early-morning starts? Your inner cave-ette assumes it's too uncomfortable-a-routine for you after all these years, it's way safer to stay in your lie-in zone. So yep – no help on that one either!
It ultimately boils down to our in-built fear system. [Side note: I love talking about fear and I'm never ceased to be amazed by how many of the choices we make day-to-day always link back to it!] So what's the point here?
👉🏻 You're more than likely just looking at motivation all wrong.
So all you need to do, is adopt a little trick called reframing. By now recognising what your lack of motivation boils down to (ill-placed fear and survival), you enable yourself to overrule your old programming (and get down to business)!
First of all, it's a myth that you have to feel 'ready' for change.
...because you'll never actually feel ready. No matter where we are on our journey, no matter how successful we deem ourselves to be, we're always going to not feel like doing stuff. Especially stuff of the aforementioned nature – discomfort, difficulty, scareyness or newness.
Second of all, it's a myth that you have to wait to feel courageous or confident.
...because you'll never actually feel courageous and confident about things that are uncomfortable or difficult or scary or new for you. And you're not supposed to!
So what can you do? 🤔
Once you understand that your lack of motivation isn't anything to do with laziness, lack of ability or low self-esteem, it is in fact ill-placed fear, you can instead get to work on righting that!
Then really listen to what fear(s) come up for you and work through them first and foremost. For example, your lack of motivation to start that passion project you've been dreaming of, could simply be down to you worrying about it not being a success. That is your fear that's been crippling you. If you then work through that particular fear, your ability to change and move forward with your plans will increase exponentially.
Sound like a plan? 😊
I make no bones about the fact that I freaking adore Mel Robbins, I often reference and quote her because I find her sooooo inspirational (plus she just totally speaks my language and makes complete sense). Her theory that motivation is complete garbage is so on-point, I decided to base this week's post on it.
This snippet of a longer talk she did has so much juice in it, I couldn't not share it with you because it encapsulates everything I've written here so succinctly.
Watch it, soak it in and lap it up babycakes:
So what is it that you've been trying to motivate yourself to do, and haven't been able to this far? Do you feel any more empowered to go for it with a different reframe? With knowing that you if you experience the discomfort, the difficulty, the scareyness or newness, if you face your fear, then you're on the absolute right track? I'd love to know in the comments below! 😍
If you enjoyed this and someone you know is struggling to motivate themselves too, it'd be the coolest thing ever if you shared this with them, to try and help them too 😇We gotta #sharethelove ay.
Until next weekend poopachoo 💋