Do you never feel like you're 'enough'? Then this one's for you.
It's actually a really horrible feeling isn't it? Like you, yourself and everything you do, is just never 'enough'. No matter how hard you try. You're just not. You literally can't help but berate yourself, feel unworthy and undeserving either.
But believe it or not, this is actually a choice that you're making honey.
Sure, if you've grown up with the sentiment that good stuff doesn't tend to happen to you, or 'people like you' don't get to be happy and content in their lives, then hell, changing the habit of a lifetime is no small feat. I feel you. But still, continuing to talk to yourself this way is still your choice. So I'd like you to carry on reading this post with that in mind.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They're not real life.
I get it – it's ridiculously super-easy to believe something you hear every single day. Even if it's untrue. Even if your mind is fully aware it's fabricated by you and no-one else. Y'see, what you focus on, you create more of, whether it serves you or not.
So this might explain why you've repeated this 'I'm not enough' self-talk for years, and haven't managed to break out of it. You've said and heard it so many times, it's become an auto-pilot habit that's become your truth.
But! ☝🏻 It's so soooo key to remember, your thoughts are just that honey – thoughts. They're not real-life and they don't have to be self-fulfilling. You can control what you think and you have the power to change the record.
Know that berating yourself is not gonna fix yourself.
Let's be objective for a sec. What do you think all your self-beat-uppery achieves? Now I know you haven't mastered how to stop it yet, but humour me, and tell me, what does it give you? At a guess;
a) it gives you confirmation that you are all the things you say
b) it makes you feel like a steaming pile of 💩
c) it keeps you safe in feeling small and unimportant, even if it feels fecking awful.
Essentially, all it's ever gonna do, is keep you right where you are. It's never, in a month of Sundays, gonna make you feel better about yourself. And if that place does make you feel like a steaming pile of 💩 then I want to tell you, that you have a duty to your future self, to try a different tact from hereon in. You have a responsibility to swap that kinda talk for kindness and compassion towards yourself for a change. THAT is what fixes things. Which leads me to my next point;
Remind yourself that you're on your own team.
All the things you say to yourself, stock 'em all up in a list, and imagine your best mate is saying them about themselves, out loud to you. Your best mate that has so many amazing qualities and is so ridiculously lovable, is telling you they feel this way about themselves; 'But I'll never be as good/hot/talented as [insert name here]...But I'm just so sh*t at ABC...I'm never gonna be able to do XYZ...I'm just a waste of space...Good stuff just doesn't happen to people like me...' – you can use whatever self-defeating talk you like here btw but I'm assuming you get the gist. It feels crushing and heartbreaking to see your awesome mate talk about themselves this way 😔
So I'm also assuming your response to that kinda talk from your bessie would be something along the lines of 'OMG, why are you being so down on yourself? You're an AMAZING person with so many great qualities who's ridiculously lovable! You can put your mind to achieve anything you want honey! Please stop being so cruel to yourself'...
Ammi right? 🤔
So why the hell aren't you saying those [totally correct] words of reassurance to yourself?!
You are an AMAZING person with so many great qualities who's ridiculously lovable! You can put your mind to achieve anything you want honey! PLUS! You are the only person who's by your side through it all. Through everything. Good and bad. You are the only person who's never going to abandon you, regardless of what happens.
You are on your OWN team, 24/7. No-one else is. So support yourself buddy! Cheer yourself on! Give yourself a damn hug! ❤️️ Something tells me you need it :) in fact, here's one to get you started:
👉🏻❤️️ *HUG* ❤️️👈🏻
You've a whole bunch of 'good bits' to love.
Now taking all this 'I'm not enough' talk out of the picture for just a minute, do you honestly and truly believe that there's nothing about you to love and appreciate? Like really?
Is there nothing that you're even a tiiiiiiny bit good at? Like making people smile or chuckle? Making people feel loved? Making cups of tea?! And is there nothing about your appearance that isn't a tiiiiiiny bit cute? Like your eyes? Your hair? Your nails even?
My point is, if you focus your attention on the bits you do like, however small, instead of allllll the bits you don't, beginning to like and appreciate yourself gets a whole lot easier lemme tell ye. So starting today, the moment you notice yourself about to give yourself a dig for not being 'enough', immediately swap it with thinking about something that you do like, something that is enough 😊
I hope this has given you something to aim for to try and switch your focus this week. Do let me know how you get on 😍 ...and remember, we're all winging it at life, seriously, you're MORE than 'enough'.
Until next weekend hot stuff 💋mwah!