Why hustling is doing the opposite of what you think it is.
K, first thing’s first. I’ve a confession to make before I crack this one open: I wholly admit to very much being a hustle-addict throughout my life, up until as recently as the last couple of years to be honest.
So if you’re reading this because you feel completely trapped in hustle-mode and burnt out by the hustle-mentality, you’re so not alone! ❤️️
Wearing my ‘super-busy-ness’ as some kind of badge of honour was an every day occurrence for me. Apologising for not being able to commit to this because ‘Ah, that week’s just crazy-busy for me’, and apologising for bowing out of commitments to that because ‘I’m so sorry but the day’s just got away from me, I can’t make it’. And while of course, this still happens on a rare occasion, honey this used to be my default. Like every week. The sheer indulgence of taking time away from work to do something leisurely just wasn’t an option for me. The guilt would eat me alive. (And while I’m in confession-mode, booking breaks and taking time off is still something I struggle to do tbh. But I relate that now a little less to feeling work-guilt, and a little more to just loving what I do). I hope 😉
Anyway, back to the hustle.
I can see now, quite clearly, why I got caught up in my hustle ‘addiction’ in the first place – because it’s deemed as the only, and freaking necessary, path to success! You want something? You gotta hustle for it. And I guess to a degree that’s partially true – if you want something, it is down to you to make it happen. But the WAY you make it happen is the missing piece here, because there ARE alternatives. More on this in a bit.
I don’t know if you relate, but I think my hustle-instinct probably splintered from my perfectionist super-skills too – making out that I’m doing all the things and doing them amazingly was how I used to define my success, to myself and to the world. Defining myself by my relentless work ethic was my calling card. Sound familiar? 😊 Except, it took until my late freaking 30s to cop on to the notion that aspiring to that as my benchmark of success, 1. Didn’t achieve anything that I actually wanted or make me feel successful, 2. Took away from so many important areas of my life, and 3. Didn’t make me happy.
I wanted to make a difference to the world, albeit in my teeny way. I wanted to work on my business full-time so I could make it sustain me and my family. I wanted to be a present mama, wife, friend and family member who was spontaneous and fun. And more crucially, I wanted to be happy while doing so. And I 100% agree that focused work and commitment is required for all these things. But there is a difference between focused work + commitment over relentless hustling.
And where relentless hustling got me was – me being fixated on (read: faffing around in circles because of) the big goals that I hadn’t yet reached, instead of humbly serving, growing and helping to change the lives of those right in front of me in the present. It got me trapped into thinking I needed to feel in demand and busy every day to feel accomplished and successful, so any days that I wasn’t, I was epically failing. It got me a fast-track ticket to a low-energy, pre-occupied version of mama, wife, friend and family member because I’d used up all my reserves in my busy-ness on the above (without ever giving myself the opportunity to top myself back up). And more crucially, it got me unhappy and continually made me feel ‘less than’. And regularly. It got me all wrapped up in, and focused on the wrong things, that were ironically taking me in the opposite direction of what my heart actually wanted.
And THIS is why hustling is doing the opposite of what you think it is too!
That constant pressure to be working and be busy. That constant fixation on the idea that you should be bigger and better than you already are. That constant inability to be in the moment and celebrate your wins along the way – you’ve always gotta be looking to ‘what’s next’. That constant guilt that you should be doing more…STAAHHHHP! Please.
There’s ANOTHER way honey!
The way where you get to exponentially multiply your energy reserves from giving yourself you-time/down-time/pause-time. The way where you get to exponentially magnify your passion and excitement for what you’re working towards through giving yourself time to be present, spontaneous and fun around the people you care about. The way where you get to exponentially increase the impact you can make by allowing yourself to start humbly and start small and start in the present. The way where you get to exponentially amplify your happiness levels because you’re allowing yourself to actually live 👏 your 👏 freaking 👏 life 👏
Which is what we all should be doing. Yep, even hardworking, grafter-warrior you.
I hope this is has given you some food for thought and made you think, ‘Hey, maybe there is something in doing this differently, maybe there is something in the ol’ imperfect life after all’ 🤔😉 if it has resonated with you or helped change your outlook a wee bit, I’d freaking kiss you all over your face if you gave me a mention on Instagram 😍 Thanks so much for reading xo
Until next week cutiepatootie 💋