How to stop the people you love from holding you back.
2018's just around the corner, and lemme tell ye, I freaking love this time of year. Novembers and Decembers are hands-down my most favourite time to be alive.
Why, you ask? Nope, it's not just because my birthday happens 😇 and nope, not just because Christmas happens either (even though I'm the biggest Christmas fairy in all the land) 👼🏻 but because it's when I schedule proper time to dream, and plan, and set goals for myself for the year ahead 😍 I JUST LOVE IT! 👏🏻
And that's exactly what I'm gonna be doing this week btw – planning my 2018 like a mo-fo 👊🏻
If you know me by now, in all this planning excitement you know I'm not one to wait for 'permission' to do things. If my nearest and dearest don't 'get' what I'm planning/devising/working on, there's no way in the world that that's deterring me, in fact it probably makes me more determined than anything else! And I'm also not one to dream small, hold myself back or shy away from challenges or goals that feel above my station either 😇 (ha!) in fact, I've spent the last 10 years or so drumming that shyness outta me! So that's why I'm here right now for you my honeypot 👉🏻 to help you do the same.
I know you 💋 I know you have some kind of dream or goal in you. Maybe it's secret and buried super-deep, or maybe it's been mentioned out loud once or twice but you haven't taken it seriously before. Basically because you just don't have the confidence to act on it or see it through. Either way, let's just take a second to imagine how incredible this time next year will feel if you've either achieved it, or are on your way to achieving it. Just really feel that feeling for a second...feels good right? Terrifying obvs, but almost irresistibly good all the same; the possibility that your life could look so different.
So, what are we gonna do about it?
Well we're gonna work on your need to wait for permission, your need to wait for encouragement, your need to wait for someone to motivate you and spur you on. If this sounds like what you're needing right now, consider this very blog post everything you've been waiting for 👉🏻 I love ye. You have my permission. I'm encouraging you to start working towards this project/dream/goal this very damn day we're in. I'm motivating you by saying you can 100% do this. Everything you need is right here, k? 😊 No more excuses.
But what do you do if the reason you've kept your aspirations suppressed and you've no self-belief, is because the people around you are unsupportive? What if your partner constantly makes you doubt your ability, or your parents continually find faults in your grand plans, or your friends just don't 'get' your vibe at all? Sure, on the surface it's all coming from a place of love and them wanting to protect you from getting hurt, but I bet it doesn't make you feel particularly loved ay? ❤️️
If you really want to be in a place of progress this time next year, you've got to stop waiting for permission to do this honey. Whatever your 'this' is. Really. Just stop. It's not coming.
Waiting for your dreams or ideas to be validated by the people you love is bananas. 1: because they're not your sole audience, so you don't need them to 'get it'. And 2: because you're waiting for something that's not coming, it's such an insane waste of an amazing opportunity that could totally transform your life, and bring you such fulfilment and happiness! You're depriving yourself of that, nobody else. Sure it'd be lovely and convenient and Hollywood-movie-like if everyone you cared about was 100% on board with your big ideas, and maybe they gave you constructive, helpful advice too – but it's not reality. And the crux here, is if you're believing their put-downs, then that is in fact your fault. Not theirs.
Let me explain. People close to us only talk to us in the way we allow them to, so if it seems someone you care about is always talking you down, pointing out everything that could go wrong, and sh*tting all over your ideas, then it's your duty to make them aware that they're doing that. And it's your duty to tell them, how you need them to speak to you instead. Because [breaking news] you don't deserve to be talked down to/discouraged/poo-pooed at every turn. You have to tell them that it's hurtful and unhelpful (and however else it impacts you), and then tell them what you need from them. You need them to believe in you. And if they still choose not to, then they've given you permission to use it as even more fire to prove their opinion is completely wrong!
The key thing to remember is, you should only really take advice from, and listen to the opinions of people that you'd happily trade places with. If they're living the kind of life you want, if the life choices they've made have brought them places you wanna be, if their level of happiness and contentment is something you aspire to, then YES, by all means, hear them out and see what nuggets of wisdom they can offer you. Their playing devil's advocate might give you information that's helpful, so listen. But if they're pulling you down to try and keep you held back with them, if they're not in a life where you (or they) want to be so they're sub-consciously wanting to make sure you're not in a life you want either, then feck their opinions quite frankly! And you're a fool if you're going to let them stop you.
So go forth and conquer my friend. Start taking some baby steps TODAY towards your 2018 dreams and goals. Get planning and concocting. And the more consistently you take these baby steps, the more confidence you'll gain in yourself and your ability, and the less and less you'll need validation and permission from anyone but yourself.
If you know someone that needs a bit of tough love to create the 2018 they deserve, I'd love you forever if you shared this with them 😇 until next weekend gorgeous face 💋 mwah!