How to stick to something and not give up, in 4 simple steps.
It can be so frustrating can’t it? That never-ending life-on-loop feeling – where you’re full of good intentions to change stuff, but your ability to commit and see that stuff through just seems completely out of your power.
This ‘stuff’ can be anything from not being able to stick to a diet or healthy way of living, to not being able to stick to your decisions, schedule or life goals altogether.
And let me first start by sharing that I’ve been here a bazillion times before, especially in the arena of food choices and fitness (among many others!) 😄 I’m not ashamed to say I’ve participated in many a crash diet and workout ‘binge’, only to be met with a complete gorge on junk and total couch-potato-immobility shortly after, each and every MF time. It’s almost as if I already know what the outcome’s going to be [read: doomed] before I’ve even started. Can you relate? It sounds ridiculous, right?
But it’s actually not.
Because there’s been a recurring theme that shows up each and every time I’ve tried to get a better grasp on my food choices and fitness. It’s the same theme that shows up each and every time I tried and failed to make any life/business changes, and I’m gonna make an educated guess that it’s the same theme that shows up for you in your attempts at commitment too. Do you know what it is?
It’s a complete lack of respect, loyalty and kindness. For yourself.
And I know that sounds kinda harsh to hear, it even feels harsh for me to type and hear myself, because I do like myself. I like my own company and I’m crazy-proud of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come, but still…this 👏 theme 👏 shows 👏 up 👏 for 👏 me 👏 So it’s not surprising it feels like such a frustrating struggle ay!
But what can we do about it?
The good news is = fecking loads 😊 Y’know that feeling I mentioned earlier? Where your ability to commit and see stuff through just feels completely out of your power? Well the first step is to;
#1. Admit and acknowledge it’s completely IN your power.
No-one’s forcing you to do anything. No-one’s creating your life for you. You’re doing alllll of it yourself. All of it. The wins and the losses, both you. How you ride the highs and the lows, both you. The decision to stick to something, or give up on something, yep, again, both you. It’s all in your power. And allowing yourself to access this truth is a huge (and uncomfortable) first step, but it’s hugely essential all the same. It’s the only way you can begin to stick to something and not give up – by taking responsibility.
#2. Start with (and always come back to) respect and kindness.
Make a written promise to yourself to see something through, and always do it from a place of respect and kindness for yourself. And what does that promise from respect and kindness look like? It’s taking the focus completely off what’s ‘wrong’ or what needs ‘fixing’, and putting the focus wholly on how you want and deserve to feeeeel. It’s taking the focus completely off any sense of sacrifice or deprivation in the short term, and putting the focus wholly on the monumental gain and growth in the long term. It’s taking the focus completely off what you’ve not been able to do/prioritise in the past, and putting the focus wholly on bumping yourself up your own priority list (and deciding that you’re worth more than what you’re currently giving yourself right now). And whenever you have a wobble, come back to this perspective, because it’s 100% in your power to do so!
#3. Be as loyal to you as you are to your friends and fam.
If there’s one thing you know you can rely on, is that you’d drop anything and everything, change plans and bend over backwards if a friend or family member called on you. When it comes to flaking on yourself, or flaking on your mates, you’re way more familiar with the flaking-on-yourself variety. Ammi right?
Well that needs some tweaking. Because whatever you do, don’t flake on yourself honey. Once you start off on your new journey to ‘sticking to something’ you’ve never been able to stick to before, let’s be real, you’re going to be confronted by all manner of challenges and triggers along the way. Triggers that will try to tempt you back into your old, limiting patterns, behaviours and ways of thinking. Triggers that break that loyalty to take you on a diversion from respect and kindness, and instead give you a one-way ticket back to the frustrating life-on-loop circuit you’re all too familiar with. But what’s the one superpower that can defeat all these triggers? 👉 Loyalty to yourself.
So say you’ve decided to cut refined sugar from your life, that’s the ‘something’ you’ve promised yourself you’re going to stick to and not give up on. Then two days in, you get your first major trigger; you’re being offered a slab of chocolate by your mother-in-law, which you’d normally accept out of politeness and obligation, and fairly easily forgo the promise you made to yourself. I mean, what harm can a bit of chocolate really do? 🤷 Well let me be as clear and as concise as I can here = chocolate in itself is obvs pretty harmless, but if accepting it breaks the promise you made to yourself, then it does a hella lot of harm. In so many more ways than your refined-sugar-cutting-promise.
Why? Because it’s breaking a promise to yourself. It’s tainting that loyalty. It’s cancelling on yourself. It’s telling yourself (and showing yourself) you’re not worth keeping a promise to. You’re making yourself less important than your mother-in-law, you’re making yourself less important than a slab of chocolate in truth. It’s the opposite of respect and kindness. And the repercussions of that? You feel crap about yourself, and more so, you feel you can’t trust yourself. I mean how on earth can you expect to reach your goals when you know your bestest team player is flakey?
But let’s not dwell there, because I want you to think of the alternative. Imagine you didn’t break the promise. Imagine you acknowledged the decision was in your power. Imagine you approached your decision from respect and kindness for yourself. Imagine you were as loyal to yourself as you are your friends and fam. Think of how things could turn around and accelerate towards what you wanted if you didn’t break your promise. Think of what becomes possible for you when you see first hand that you can trust yourself. Think of what other goals and dreams you can achieve when you know you can rely on you. Exciting right? 😍
And even though I’m just using refined sugar/chocolate in this example, the same series of events applies to whatever your ‘something’ is; committing time to work out, committing time to work on a passion project or life goal, following through on a decision you’ve made – anything. It’s all about responding to your triggers and challenges with loyalty, respect and kindness to yourself.
#4. Rinse and repeat.
Having said all of that, we’re not perfect humans. We’re not robots with perfect thoughts and outputs and OMG who would want to be?! We’re beautifully flawed and nuanced and yes, we falter from time to time. But going forward, understand that you don’t have to use faltering as an excuse to unravel altogether anymore. You don’t!
So maybe you ate the chocolate, and broke that promise. Feck, maybe you even went whole hog with the jam doughnuts and Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream tub too. What next? #1. Acknowledge it’s still completely IN your power. #2 Start with (and always come back to) respect and kindness for yourself. #3. Be as loyal to you as you are to your friends and fam, and keep freaking going. Don’t use faltering as an excuse to give up.
And if you rinse and repeat this, you’ll get there. Promise ❤️️
I hope this has been of some help to you in how you might approach your goals going forward darl. If it has, you know I’d love you forever if you gave it a share and a mention in your Instagram stories 😇
Until next weekend gorgeous face 💋