How to live your ‘best life’ when you don’t know what you want.
You can’t scroll through Instagram or Facebook nowadays without being confronted by some inspirational quote about ‘living your best life’.
Now I get what the term means and tbh, I kinda respect the aspirational 21st century vibe behind it, BUT ☝️ it’s also depressing AF when you feel the absolute furthest from it yourself, right? Perhaps when more accurately, you feel like you’re ‘living your just-about-adequate life’. It doesn’t quite have the same, inspirational-quote ring to it ay. And to add to that sentiment, it’s also EXTRA disheartening when it appears that everyone. else. on. the. digital. planet. is living their best lives.
So how can you get there? How can you possibly begin living the life you want, when you don’t even know what you want? I mean, where do you even start?!
👉 Right here honey.
Because Auntie Kerry’s here to help ❤️️ But first of all, I wanna just be crystal clear that we all understand – no matter how alluring someone else’s ‘best life’ looks – nobody’s life is awesome at all times. For sure, some people have worked their butts off to create the life they want and they love the life they’re in, and tbh, why shouldn’t they document it and celebrate what they’ve achieved? Fair balls to ‘em I say. And there’s also some people who are fortunate enough to be born into arguably privileged backgrounds that obviously make things a bit easier for them to create the life they want too. But I repeat – nobody’s life is awesome at all times. Even the glossiest of covers can have a whole world of struggle, mental health issues, physical health issues, insecurities and inner battles behind them when you open them up. And I know deep down you know that, but you also probably choose to overlook that bit too.
And why am I telling you this? Because the whole point of me writing this post, is because I want you to focus on YOU, not THEM. This is YOUR life we’re exploring, no-one else’s. This is YOUR picture we’re painting, no-one else’s. So please please please don’t limit your progress and potential with anyone else’s ‘best life’ as a benchmark or a reference point, and get all up in your own 👊
K? You good? Then let’s get stuck in 😇 I’ve three simple steps that’ll change this whooooole game around…
Step #1: Commit to wanting change.
The super-coolest bit about this step, is that you’ve kinda nailed most of it before we’ve started! 🙌 Just to have you here reading this means that you’ve already made the crucial step of being self-aware, listening to your instincts call-out and realising something needs to change. Whatever the hell that is, is yet to be found of course! But still, you’re on your way honey 💪 Well done you.
The bit of this step that you’re yet to embark on however is your out-loud commitment to yourself. If you genuinely want to feel like you’re living the life you want, you’ve gotta make a pact with yourself that you’re not gonna quit when things get sticky-icky. (Because it’s highly likely that they will at some point btw, I won’t sugar coat it). It’s highly likely that there’ll be a number of barriers/challenges/obstacles that are gonna try and keep you where you are right now, in your ‘just-about-adequate life’. Because that’s where it’s safe and familiar y’know? Even if we don’t really like it, we’re feckers for stewing in our own discomfort! So before these ‘fun times’ present themselves, make a commitment to yourself now – because while you can’t exactly control if/when they happen, you can control how you respond to them. If you’re ready, you’re ready.
Step #2: Work out what you don’t want.
Now this is where you I reckon you’ll get to feel like an expert honey, and I can imagine you’ll no doubt be overfloweth with ideas for this part of the process! There’s nothing easier to mentally work out than all the stuff you don’t want to happen. But why is this bit easier than working out what you do want? Because the ‘don’t wants’ are most likely things you’ve already experienced and either didn’t enjoy one bit, or didn’t bring you what you thought they were going to. (There’s method here 😉stay with me).
Now when you come to do this, take a moment to think about all areas of your life – what don’t you want from your professional life? What don’t you want your me-time to look like? What don’t you want your lifestyle to look like? What don’t you want your relationships to be like? What don’t you want your finances to be like? And then as simple as that – write down all the things you don’t want. All the things.
Do you not want to be in the same job a year from now? Write it down. Do you not wanna feel like you’ve zero time for yourself next week? Whack it on the list. Do you not wanna have another broke Christmas? Pop it in there too.
And this list isn’t an opportunity to bash yourself for dwelling in negativity, it’s designed as a positive, cathartic step to work out what it is you do want on the flip-side.
Now this list has just become gold-dust, because now you can…
Step #3: Work out what you do want!
See? See? Do you see what I did there? 😁 A bit of nifty mind trickery! Y’see now you’ve purged all the things that you don’t want and you can physically see all that juicy stuff you wanna change, you’ve just conjured the most awesome magic wand that’s gonna help you find out what it is that you do want! Score!
And it’s as simple as this 👉Using the list you pulled together in the step #2, now write the opposite of each for step #3.
Don’t want to be in the same job a year from now? Then what you want is to find a new job or a new way to earn money within the next 12 months. So now you know that’s your end goal, you can reverse engineer your steps to get there. Things like doing a course to help find your true passion, or going to study something you’ve always wanted to study might be your first step, or maybe it’s just finding the right company to work for in the industry you’re already in. Just do whatever feels right for you.
Don’t wanna feel like you’ve zero time for yourself next week? Then what you want is to work out ways to carve some time for you over the next 7 days. Whether that’s committing an evening, a day, or a morning, or whether that’s changing your schedule entirely. The point is, now you know what you want, you can take the steps to make it happen.
Don’t wanna have another broke Christmas? Then what you want is to find out how you can budget better so you’re more prepared this time around. Maybe that involves writing a proper list ahead of time so you can plan what gifts to buy, or maybe that involves putting money aside on a regular basis so you’ve got an official Christmas piggie-bank. Whatever works for you.
Then before you know it, you’re working towards all the things you want and bam! 👊 You’re living your best life! 😍
And if you feel you’d love some more hands-on help to planning the 2019 of your dreams, then I’ve a little something to show you that might be right up your street. To celebrate the launch of The Imperfect Life® Planner 2019, I’m hosting an online planning workshop called Planfest 2019. I’m basically going to be sharing the exact planning strategy I used at the end of 2016 to plan the Kickstarter campaign that raised over £21k in 2017, and at the end of 2017 to plan going full-time on my business in 2018! Come and have a look and see what you think!
Even if the workshop isn’t for you, I hope my lil’ planning reverse-psychology fun-ness has helped you get some clarity of what you wanna make happen 😊 and if it has given you some direction, I’d freaking LOVE it if you shared one thing you’ve realised you want in the comments below. Stating these things to the universe gives them a helluva lot more power to become real-life!
Big love for an awesome week ahead 💋