Have you hit your 20s or 30s and feel completely lost? Here's why that's the best news ever!
I totally get that you might read this headline and think it's me that's lost [the plot that is]. How can this possibly be the best news ever?! It feels freaking awful! 👉🏻 Hear me out on this one.
I've mentioned before that I'm lucky enough to be a voice of experience when it comes to getting out the other side of a quarter-life crisis. And it probably sounds bizarre to say, but I genuinely love my crisis and all the craziness it put me through, and I look back on it with so much affection. It was a monumental turning point for me, truly. And that's why this is THE best news ever for you too honey – you're about to embark on one of the. most. awesome. adventures. of. your. life. The discomfort of feeling lost is your mind and body telling you things need to change, how genius is that?! Your mind and body are so in tune, they're guiding you to take action towards what you need to do next; crafting a plan and setting about finding yourself for real.
Are you still with me?!
Let's look at it another way. Imagine you weren't presented with this opportunity to explore new things. Imagine you never really cared to think about where you want to go in life. Imagine your beige day-to-day just ticked along mundanely and obliviously in your own little box, forever until the end of time and you never felt truly 'alive'. There was no ups or downs. Life's just always been what you've always known, and it'll always be predictably, 'meh'.
Now I don't know about you, but to me, that version of events is the worst news ever.
I so badly wanted to find my 'purpose' and do something that meant something in my 20s. I wanted my life to actually matter y'know? And I genuinely think all that is perfectly fine to want and to aim for, but the problem was, I just wanted it all there and then. In my lap, all one sitting. Gifted to me if you will. At the time, it felt impossible to see that the awesomeness was all about the discovery and growth towards those things, not in the sitting back and relaxing once I'd found them. (A point I think we should never want to reach anyway btw. But that's another blog post).
Has that just fried your brain?! 😂
If you're still on the fence about why feeling lost is the best news ever, let me walk you through some pretty cool perks;
1. You get to be the badass tortoise
You must remember the story of the hare and the tortoise. Y’know the one where the hare sprints ahead in ‘the race’, delighted with himself that he’s beating everyone, then gets all cocky and stops to be all showy-offy and doesn’t realise the snail-pace tortoise (who doesn’t really care what anyone else is doing btw), just trots past him at his own pace, going his own way, loving life? Well once you’re given the privileged opportunity of feeling lost in your 20s or 30s, you get to see first hand, how cool it can be to be that tortoise.
You get to see that the. most. important. thing. is going your own way, at your own pace, and not worrying what everyone else is doing. If you’re not given that opportunity of being able to see that, and you live your life constantly trying to keep up with everyone else and be consumed by what everyone else is doing, you’ll forever be that hare that’s trying to get satisfaction and happiness from all the wrong things, unsuccessfully. Feel sorry if you know any hares, 'cause that's not you. I won't let it be!
2. You get to squash your fear of failure
Imagine you’re lost off the beaten path. Somewhere wild and unknown. Notice what happens to your senses – you’re hearing and seeing way more than you did before. You’re on edge, on high alert because you know any moment could be life-changing, you're in full-on survival mode. It’s terrifying of course, but you can’t and won’t let that stop you. You have no choice but to fight to find your way home to safety.
(That's a metaphor for where you're at right now if you didn't notice). 😇 When you're in survival mode like you are right now, you're forced to live on the edge of fear. Your days of avoiding taking risks are over because you've no comfortable, hideaway option anymore. You've tried that and it's not worked. The scary unknown is now your only route out. And that is the incredibly liberating bit. Because once you reach that place, any fear of failure you may have had before, has to be pushed to the side. And being able to live your life fully in spite of fear, is an awesomely privileged position indeed.
3. You get to truly meet yourself for the first time
It’s pretty hard to truly know yourself, and find your true character when your life’s been all cushtee and comfortable and cosy. I mean, what's there to learn? You like the sofa? You like slippers? Good to know but hardly helpful when you're trying to craft a life plan of sorts.
It's always the experiences which really test your strength and resilience, that truly form who you are, and help you become who you want to be too. The times of struggle. The times of being at a complete and utter loss. Your personal foundations are essentially being built when it feels like everything’s falling apart. And that's why you need to feel grateful. They're all adding to the richness of wonderful, beautiful you.
And I have to say, I'm pretty confident that in 5-10 years' time, you'll actually feel grateful for this hopelessness, this feeling lost. Just like I do now. And that's because you'll be able to pinpoint right now as a time when your metal was really tested. You forced yourself into trying some new stuff, maybe you even got to move in some new circles of people. You found the balls to go out there and make some cracking mistakes, as well as claiming the glory from some good choices you made. You were basically gifted the opportunity to take control of your life and start living it exactly the way you want it right in that moment of feeling lost. You got to find yourself.
If you think a mate could do with a little pep talk like this to help to get them out of a feeling-completely-lost-funk, it would mean the world to me if you shared it with them. And I sincerely hope this has helped you appreciate where you're at, even just a tiiiny bit, and given you some hope for the future. I got you boo 💋