6 reasons why working with a coach was the best thing I ever did.
I've been quite open on my social media channels about the fact that I've worked with a couple o' coaches over the past year.
One coach was specifically centred around my business, and the other was specifically centred around my mindset. And I have to tell you honey, it's quite literally the best money I've ever spent on myself. It sounds lavish and it sounds indulgent for sure, but believe me, if I can go from feeling guilt over treating myself to a 5-pack of trainer-socks from H&M, to feeling more than okay with spending £1,500 on coaching over 12 months, then anyone can! 😂 Truth!
The two particular coaches I worked with, I chose because I just totally vibed with them. I'd followed them (in a totally normal, non-creepy way) online for a good while, I dug what they'd talk about, they talked sense and they were just on my wavelength y'know? We saw the world the same way and granted, they were just normal people not major celeb coaches, but they were further down the line from me, on a line I wanted to be on. They'd experienced triumphs with things that I hadn't yet triumphed at. They had valuable knowledge to impart that I was all-too-ready to hear. Plus the stuff they put out in the world had already really helped me and spoke to me, so I figured getting to work with them 1-to-1 could really help me move stuff forward in my life.
And boy did it. I think there's actually more than six reasons why working with a coach was the best thing I ever did, but these are the meat and bones; these are the six biggest ticks off my mental-tick list;
#1: I was given undivided attention.
I've done group work before where general issues have been raised and addressed, and generally speaking they've been super-useful. But herein lies the point, they've been general, not specific. I've done Google searches, read blogs, listened to podcasts and savoured free downloads that have offered me a ton of crazy-valuable free advice too. But again, they've been generalised. I can hand on heart say that nothing beats the value and impact of undivided attention and being able to address my specific set of issues. Over and over again if needs be! (More on this in #4!) 😉
#2: I was given an inescapable mirror.
You can pontificate and ponder and procrastinate until the end of time when you're in your own bubble, and that's 100% fine if you're happy there honey! 😘 But if you're frustrated and impatient and can't understand why you're not moving anywhere, then maybe you need an inescapable mirror too. Y'see, when someone holds a mirror up to you and your progress, when someone is at the other end of the line calling you out on your excuses, there's nowhere left to hide. And that is one power tool right there.
Excuses are one of the biggest reasons we hold ourselves back from what we want in life, which are essentially rooted in fear, and I was alllllll up in my excuses lemme tell ye. I knew I needed tough love to see the wood for the trees, and that's exactly what a coach did for me. Because when you're faced with that inescapable mirror, you've no choice but to look at your reflection straight in the eye, acknowledge your mountain of excuses, (yep, every one of them), and move the hell forward.
#3: I learnt that fees means focus.
I love free stuff as much as the next lass. And like I said before, I pour over podcasts, videos and live broadcasts on a weekly basis and they bring me a bunch of actionable steps to take with me. But do I go away and implement those steps? Verrrrrry occasionally sometimes. Or maybe for a week or so. But most of the time, if I'm honest, I'm on to the next thing to watch, listen or read, looking for more and more ideas and answers. I guess it's just the information-overloaded society we live in nowadays.
But on the flip-side, when your own money that you've worked stupid-hard to earn, leaves your bank account in exchange for an opportunity to implement real change, man does it give you focus. It makes you clear your diary for that call, no exceptions, it makes you turn up ready to take notes, ask questions and be all in, and more crucially, it makes you implement what you're learning about yourself. Because not only do you not want to waste all that money by not following through on a commitment you made to yourself, but you also don't want to waste your coach's time by not following through on a commitment you made to them. It's accountability at its finest I tell ye.
#4: I gained a different viewpoint.
When you're stuck in a rut of repeated behaviour, when after months – or more often than not – years of the same pattern keeps bringing you back to the same starting point, it can make you wanna implode, right? That whole 'Argh! I'm right back where I started!' on loop? That's where I found an objective viewpoint was priceless.
I've actually lost count of the amount of times I've worked myself to the point of burnout, while ridiculously still telling myself I'm not 'doing enough'. I've also lost count of the amount of times I've told myself I'm not 'good enough' to do x, y and z either. And I've worked sooo hard these past 10 years since my quarter-life crisis to try and move past it, and in a lot of ways, I know I've come on leaps and bounds from where I was, but ultimately, it felt like something I just couldn't move past on my own. I needed external input.
What came of this external input was a monumental groundbreaking moment for me my friend – through a call with my mindset coach, we uncovered that me failing my 11+ as a child (an exam we have in the UK to get a place at a grammar school) was probably my first experience of feeling like a failure. So I spent a while tuning back to that point in my life, talking through how it felt and what I'd say to my 11-year-old self to try and comfort her. I began with all these practical coping strategies and I knew I sounded like some kind of predictable career counsellor to her (i.e, not in the least bit comforting). But what the coach managed to pull out of me was what I really needed to hear from myself at that time was, 'I love you and I'm proud of you' 💔 the coach and I instantly started crying. It was insane how palpable the emotion was. And that was the different viewpoint I knew I needed. Now every time I hear that inner critic try to tell me I'm not doing enough or I'm not good enough, I know exactly what to say to her – 'I love you and I'm proud of you'. She's piped down ever since! 🙌
#5: I gave myself dedicated me-time.
Confession: I am brutal at finding time for myself, and my guess is that you're probably the same. I feel I've spent so much of my adult-life people-pleasing and continually excluding 'myself' from my to-do list, that now I often struggle to know what to do with myself if I happen to have an unexpected hour to indulge on me-ness. That's where having my coaching hour; those mere 60-mins for myself each month, really helped me get to know Kerry again.
Not only did the simple process of me saying to my diary/husband/world 'I have a coaching call tonight' mean I had one beautiful, precious hour undisturbed and dedicated to me, but it also started the cogs turning that I should be taking an hour to myself waaaay more often. And in honesty, before I did the coaching, I don't know that I'd push for it.
After months and months on end of not being arsed to move a muscle in terms of working out, I'm now back to dancing once a week and LOVING it, and I'm continually working hard at booking little trips and finding out what I enjoy, because I truly know now that I deserve it.
PS, And you do too btw ❤️️
#6: I got rid of the stuckness.
The biggest of alllllll the things, is that I wanted to see change. I was desperate to see it. Even just a tiny slice. I wanted to change the course of how things had been going, and finally take the lane of the life that I wanted to be in. I didn't feel like I needed to have 'arrived' mind, just feel like I was on my way there. And I had never imagined in a bazillion years quite how much change would happen as a result of my decision to try out coaching, but lemme give you a snapshot (this has also been the result of insane hard work over yeeeears, finally coming to fruition – or more so, me finally finding the ladyballs to create the life I want!);
- I overcame my fear of failure and launched a Kickstarter campaign that I'd been faffing and perfecting for over a year. It didn't start well at all 😩 but I somehow managed to turn around a failing campaign in the space of a week (it took me 23 days to raise £8,370 and then only 7 days to raise £12,642 and exceed my £17,500 funding goal!) ✔
- The Imperfect Life® Planner, my baby, my dream, my vision, completely sold out in its first year of production ✔
- After living in an apartment and renting a studio workspace, for a long time I wanted my daughter to have more room to explore and for me to have a more accessible workspace at home – so this year I left my studio lease, moved us into a house and we now have space for my daughter to run riot and for my own at-home studio ✔
- Having a family trip to Florence, Tuscany has been on my bucket list for like, ever – so this summer, we just freaking made it happen and did it ✔
- I've been a complete petrol-head my whole life and love cars, but I'd never felt in the right headspace to buy the car I wanted (more so out of issues of guilt and indulgence than logistics. I mean, I drove the same lil' Toyota Yaris for 14 years 😊 ) – so this year, I finally got a new set of wheels that make me giddy and hyper every time I get in and drive 'em ✔
- I started my side-hustle five years ago alongside my freelance business, and I could never quite find the kahunas or circumstances to make my side-hustle my full-time gig – but this summer I fecking did and I'm still pinching myself that this is real life! ✔
And it's important to note, my income hasn't changed (my Kickstarter funding was entirely expenses), and neither have my circumstances changed, but my mindset 100% has. I have learnt soooo freaking much. Needless to say, finding the courage to implement the kind of changes I wanted in my life made me feel so content and proud of myself too, and while I know they're probably not groundbreaking changes to you, in fact maybe they're even mediocre to the outside world 😂 ha! The point is – they were monumental to me. They were things I'd tried and failed to make real for so so long, and those coaching sessions sincerely helped me reach them.
The best bit of all is that I know that this is just the beginning 💪 ...so watch this space!
It's also timely for me to write this because I'm now taking bookings for 1-to-1 coaching with myself as The Imperfection Coach 😁 (like it? See what I did there?) 😊 Teehee! I've coached those close to me for yeeeears and I've recently worked with a bunch of badass imperfectionistas who have had some truly incredible breakthroughs. There's a few words from some of them here. I've legit had goosebumps and happy tears talking to them and witnessing the clarity and excitement they found within themselves, and their futures. It's proper magic stuff ✨ and I'd love to make magic with you too! ❤️️ So if coaching sounds like something you'd like to hear more about, or you perhaps wanna suss out how it works, have a look here on kerrylyons.com and drop me a line. I can't wait to hear from you and answer any questions. I'm here for you honey!
Even if coaching with me isn't on your radar though, but you're toying with the idea of working with another coach and you're just a bit reticent about taking the leap, I'd seriously say just go for it. I truly doubt you'll regret it. If you're on a vibe with them, you respect what they've achieved and they feel like your kinda people, I don't think you can go wrong.
Anywaysies, I hope I've given you some food for thought either way and you enjoyed the read 😁 but I'm curious to know, what has been your experience with coaching? Have you tried it? Has it worked for you? Has it not worked for you? Let me know in the comments!
Until next weekend tinkerbell 💋 mwah!