5 things you soooo don't wanna be saying in 50 years' time.
Do you ever think that far ahead? Like way ahead, when you've done the Spring, Summer and Autumn, and you're heading for the Winter of your years?
This is actually not a morbid post at all btw, so don't be scared off by the prospect of potential death-talk 😇 this is in fact the opposite of morbid, because it's here to help you look at your today, right now, and make it the happiest, most-fulfilling-today it can possibly be 💋
What I am gonna cover though, is regret. Arguably one of the worst feelings you can experience, especially in 50-odd years' time when you've no time left to correct or reverse it.
There's a few articles online about the top five regrets in life, and to be honest I don't think you'll be surprised by what most have confessed (you should read how the Guardian breaks them down though, really good food for thought);
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I think we probably could've guessed that our lifelong regrets wouldn't be wishing we worked harder, earned more money or had more 'stuff' (even though those ambitions seem to consume a lot of people's day-to-day lives right now). But what I do find crazy-interesting though, is the common thread within them all; they all wished they'd lived their life more for themselves. All of their regrets derive from either giving too much of themselves, or not truly listening to themselves. Their life wasn't about them.
And for some reason, that's the one thing most of us find the hardest to do 🤔 and it's ironically the one thing that can make us truly happy.
I mean, wouldn't it just be mega to look back on your life, with literally NO regrets? Let's make that happen honey! 💪🏻
Soooo, what's with this then?! At what point did we learn to ignore and overrule ourselves? At what point did our own needs become less important than someone else's? At what point did we decide that what other people say was more important than what we say? 🤷🏻 Because as babies, we sure as hell didn't mute our needs for the sake of other people! So we know we started out knowing exactly how to put ourselves first. But this post isn't about being selfish, shirking your responsibilities, not sharing yourself with others and being all "me me me" the whole time, it's all about just making sure the fundamental things are about you.
By that I mean 👉🏻 choosing relationships that build you up, not pull you down; choosing careers that light you up, not dull your shine; creating a lifestyle that makes you feel healthy and balanced, not lethargic and stressed. You get the gist. And one of the best side-effects of making sure those fundamental things happen in your life, is that you'll also be so full of happiness and contentment, you've got a whole lot more of yourself to share with others too. Nice Brucey-bonus right? 👊🏻
But how the feck do you stop what you're doing (and what you've probably done for 20+ years), and start living in a more intentional way, for yourself? The answer is loads of small baby steps (easy to do), taken consistently (not as easy, but totally possible).
👉🏻 Here's some routes in for you:
Create a vision board of what your life looks like:
Maybe using something like Pinterest, or even good ol' fashioned magazines and Pritt Stick. The point of the exercise is, that it forces you to pause and really consider what you want your future to look like, and what you want to get from it. Physically documenting it is an awesome catalyst in helping you achieve it, because you can return to it to remind yourself and keep you on track, or even add to it whenever you feel yourself detouring back to your old self.
Make a life plan:
This might sound a bit overwhelming and potentially a bit restrictive too, but it's soooo not at all. All this is, is an outline to guide you going forward. It's a way to work out what you want, and how you can start working towards that (which in itself, brings crazy amounts of self-satisfaction btw). And handily for you, if you'd love some help pulling a plan together, I've actually created a free 5-day life plan mini-course for you to complete at your leisure, and re-take as many times as you need! It's 100% free and always will be 🙌🏻 don't say I never give you anything 😇
Stop setting your bar too high for happiness:
A lot of this comes down to you continually seeking 'perfection' and what you think you should do/have to live your happiest life. When your bar's too high, it tends to mean that you only feel true happiness when you do things perfectly, or achieve something monumental. The cool thing is, you can change the height of your bar at any time. You can literally finish reading this post, and say to yourself, 'my expectations from today will be lower than yesterday'. Conversely, this doesn't mean that lowering your expectations means you're settling for less. It actually means you'll be more content in the moment you find yourself in; the company you're in, the food that you're eating, the air that you're breathing. And that in itself will make you instantly happier and more grateful for what you have.
Stop comparing yourself:
This is a horrendously destructive habit that I'm pretty sure every one of us is guilty of at some stage. But even if you're the world's worst obsessive-compulsive-comparer, that doesn't mean you've permission to beat yourself up over it. Instead, take that innate ability you have for comparing, and use it to compare you and where you are now, with you and where you were in the past. I think you'll have to work pretty damn hard to not see any progress or growth at all! And maybe if you do see less growth than you'd hoped, at least this is something in your control to change.
So how's your 'today' feeling? Is it as happy and as fulfilled as it can be? Can you hand on heart say your 70-80 year old self is going to thank you for today, what you put into it and what you got out of it? If you can, then huge props to you 💋 if you can't, then be okay with that being totally okay! And make tomorrow a different story, so you never have to say I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me / I wish I hadn't worked so hard / I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings / I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends / I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Don't let that be you 💋 or be someone you love that needs to hear this. Share this on and let them know you love 'em xo