5 steps to fall in-love with your life (even if you loathe it).
I think no matter how ambitious or career-oriented you are, feeling in-love with the life you have is something that everyone wants to feel, right? No-one wants to feel crappy about their lot.
But so many people do feel crappy! 😔 So many people look outside their lane and make assumptions that everyone else has it better/easier/luckier than them. And be honest with yourself, have you felt that way too? I know I have done in the past. The influence of social media has of course exacerbated our desire for perfection. And the accessibility of our digital era has obviously amplified our feelings of wanting more and more from our lives too. But that doesn't mean we can't choose to look past those things and take control of our own path to loving life 👉🏻And this is where I come in 😇
And there's method to this madness. I'm not [much of] a crazy person 😁 But think about what is crazy – the challenges and curveballs in life aren't ever going to go away. We have zero control over a lot of things getting flung at us. So why do we continually try and fight these things and battle to create a world without them? Why do we try and craft a 'perfect' version of ourselves and our world, and then beat ourselves up for being a failure when it doesn't turn out 'perfect'? Surely that's way more crazy? What isn't crazy, is understanding that while we have zero control on what happens to us, we have 100% control on how we perceive/tackle/react to it. Which brings me neatly to my first step in falling in-love with your life;
No. 1: See the value in your flaws
I'm not shy when it comes to talking about flaws, imperfections, mistakes et al. In fact, it's one of my favourite things to talk about! And it's up there because it has to be one of the single most important things I've learnt in my adult life – imperfection is where it's AT yo! 👊🏻
Your imperfections are interesting, others' 'perfection' is not. Imperfection oozes humanity and relateability (new word), perfection does not. Imperfection is freeing and fun, perfection is not. I could do this game for hours but I'm sure you see my point 😊all the pursuit of perfection brings you is the pressure of conformity and 'fitting in', and the pressure of acting robotic so as never to relax, truly enjoy yourself or make a mistake. Super-fun outcomes no? 🙄
So what can you do? Embrace the freckles you hated as a teen (🙋🏻) they're one of your most unique features as an adult; see the value in the balls-ups you make, there's so so much gold you can learn from them as a result; and show affection for and shout about your shortcomings – humans love to relate to fellow imperfect humans.
No. 2: Realise, and fully absorb that – no-one else has their life exactly how they want it either.
That ol' comparisonosis (new word), is an absolute fecker in stealing the love for our lives from us. And any time we might just so happen to be having a good day where we're feeling borderline content, it can easily and instantly be torn away from us when we see someone seemingly has something better. It's a total b*tch. No doubt about it.
But y'see the thing that no-one talks about, is that everyone's striving for something better. Yes some people are further down the line at creating the life they want than you might be, but I can promise you, they never get to the point where they feel they've 'made it'. There's always areas they want to improve or get better at or feel happier about. No-one else has it sussed either so stop berating yourself when you feel 'behind in life'. You're awesome exactly where you're at. Take comfort in the imperfection of it all, because it's imperfect for all of us.
No. 3: Look for the glitter you already have, not the giant beams of light you don't.
After imperfection, another one of my faves to talk about is gratitude. It sounds a bit woo woo and fluffy on the surface, I get it, but please don't underestimate the power of this one 🙏🏻
I wrote a post on looking for the glitter in your life instead of giant light beams not so long ago, (and 'borrowed' the analogy from one of my badassiest imperfectionistas Rachel 😇 thanks love!). The idea is essentially, that your life is already covered in sprinkles of glitter, but you're not seeing them because you're always looking for the giant beams of light – code for: you're so busy chasing all the big, seemingly more valuable things in life, that you're totally missing out on all the beauty and wonder in what you already have. This glitter could be anything from your best mate's exquisite talent for emoji usage, to the taste and indulgence of that perfectly fresh jam doughnut you treat yourself to on a Saturday.
We get so caught up in pursuing something bigger and better, we neglect to savour all the things we do have that make us genuinely happy. Flip those around in priority and I promise you'll start to develop strong feelings for how cool your life is.
Ooh, and don't forget to download your free happiness bank worksheet here 💋
No. 4: Expand your mind and invest in your personal development.
If you've no idea what you want to do with your life, I so feel your pain in not knowing, I honestly and truly do. I was exactly there and feeling 'stuck in the mud' is probably the most accurate way to describe it. Each day/week/month is like a sinking, exhausting trek through the mud too. You wish you just knew what your true strengths were already so you could take clear, logical steps to working it all out, right? So what can you do about getting those wheels in motion? Where can you even start?
It sounds obvious, but just start honey. Try things out, throw yourself into learning things, about stuff you like, about yourself. Invest in your future by investing in yourself. Join that sewing workshop that keeps catching your eye, sign up to that creative writing lecture that might help you start that book, apply for that job that's out of your comfort zone. Give as many things a bash as you want – simply to allow yourself to learn and understand yourself better. Without starting, you'll never know.
Then once you do start, just simply being in a mindset of learning, mind-expansion and progress lifts you straight out of the mud and on your path to life-loving discovery. Promise ❤️️
No. 5: Make time for pure, unadulterated you-ness.
A big part of hating on life could be a lot to do with your life not really being your own. If you relate to my point No. 4 above, you're probably already in a career or lifestyle that's more about pleasing other people than yourself. Getting a 'sensible job' because it pays the bills sound familiar? Staying in a like-less relationship because your folks want to see you 'happy and settled down' too? 🤔 So if we add to that the fact that you rarely make time for yourself either, then that's a pretty bitter cocktail to drink in. I'm not in the least bit surprised that you're not in-love with your life – there's nothing about YOU in it! So what next?
👉🏻 Be selfish! Make it about you lovely! Take time in your lunch breaks, evenings, weekends to do stuff only you want to do. Hell, book time off work to do the same! Gift yourself with the things that make you happy and do it regularly. You'll soon begin to grow feelings for your life again, because it's slowly becoming yours 😍
If any of my points resonate with you, I think you could get some real value out of my upcoming online course The Imperfect Life® Designer. It's alllll about falling in-love with your life and walks you through exactly how I fell back in-love with mine after the depths of depression and my quarter-life crisis over 10 years ago. If you're interested in joining the waitlist and being notified when it launches, pop your deets in the form below and you'll be the first imperfectionista to know.
In the meantime, have a badass day, and enjoy the process of dating your life and falling in-love! 😉
Big love 💋