4 steps to help you feel worthy and deserving of stuff.
I'm gonna be completely honest with you here and admit that this is most definitely a work-in-progress area for me!
Allowing myself to feel worthy and deserving of stuff is one of the biggest mindset blocks I've had to face in the past few years. And I'm not out of the woods yet! And maybe I'll never be fully 'free'. But I figured this a probably a pretty common theme in your life too – so sharing what I've learnt so far could be juicy for ye :)
First of all, working on your mindset is called 'mindset work' ...because it is work tbh. It takes a real commitment to push through the yucky, uncomfortable feelings and crack on anyway because you know you need to – to get the pay off. So as exhilarating and exciting as your occasional 'breakthroughs' might be, it's also gonna show you exactly where your blocks are and will desperately wanna keep you safe inside them!
Second of all, your past explains a helluva lot, particularly your formative, childhood years. Now I'm not and never will be an advocate for 'blaming' anyone or anything for how things may or may not have turned out, in fact I'm very much an advocate for taking responsibility for your own life, BUT! ☝🏻 Seeking explanations from looking back on your experiences with your parents/peers/people in your life, can help you uncover A LOT. Which brings me to my first step;
Step No. 1: Step back in time.
I don't mean time-travel for the sake of time-travel 😁 I mean, really allowing yourself some time to journal out or pinpoint moments from your past where you remember being made to feel unworthy. I mean the kind of situations that both founded, and reinforced this belief that you're not actually deserving of having nice stuff happen to you, or indeed having nice stuff in general!
For me, there's definitely been moments in my upbringing where phrases like 'oh how the other half live' or 'that's too expensive for us' were bandied about here and there – which were seemingly harmless/sensible at the time of course, but unfortunately, they stick. So we pack them away into our adulting backpack, and carry the weight of them around with us without really realising their impact. Well lemme tell ye – impact they do!
So have a think, maybe you can recall specific moments where these kind of undeserving/unworthy labels began to sub-consciously stick? Or if not, maybe there's some repeated, downtrodden-ey phrases that you find you say to yourself? 👉🏻 Splurge 'em all out.
Step No. 2: Up-level your life.
A massive part of making the shift away from feeling unworthy and undeserving, is moving from a headspace of lack, to one of abundance. And the best and quickest way to get that abundant ball rolling, is to start up-levelling your life.
I first learnt the term and technique in Sarah Akwisombe and Jennifer MacFarlane's Money Manifesting School (which I believe is open for enrolment again this month, go check it out), and I have to say it's THE MOST fun 😁 it can be up-levelling something huge like a car or home, or something as simple as up-levelling your toothbrush from your usual shop-brand cheap and cheerful one, to the cute, £1-more one that you actually wanted. Taking these small steps to up-level your world and feel good about what you're inviting into it (basically gifting yourself a sense of worthiness), is crazy powerful. So have some freaking fun with it 🙌🏻
Step No. 3: Write future pep-talks for yourself.
On your few and far between 'a-ha' days and moments of 'enlightenment', you've gotta write down what your bold, future self-doubting-self needs to be reminded of when she inevitably returns. Which basically translates to, when the going's good in terms of your mindset, don't just bask in it, document it.
Write down how awesome it feels to be on the other side of worry and unworthiness for a change, however temporary a position that might be. (And get reeeeal accurate and descriptive too, like properly paint a picture). Maybe it's when you have a really great day hanging out with friends, or you finally treat yourself to that pair of shoes that you saved for – it's those moments of euphoria; of worthiness; of feeling deserving for some good stuff that you absolutely have to bottle up!
I've even gone as far to record voice memos on my phone to serve as future pep talks to myself! And they really work! Mainly because I think it's 'past you' talking to 'future you' – so you know for real that she's been there and done that 😉
Step No. 4: Visualise the bejaysus out of it.
And you're not just visualising any old thang, you're visualising the best possible outcome, As in, whatever you're feeling unworthy or undeserving of having, visualise yourself actually receiving it. And not just one, quick picture in your mind – really visualise what's around you, what you're wearing, who you might be with, how you're feeling...all the things!
And then...keep visualising it! And I mean even two times – or more (!) a day. What this does, is 1) it lets the universe know exactly what it is you want/are working towards in cinematic quality, and 2) it keeps you focused on attracting and receiving it.
Now listen, I wholly understand that this might be dipping into the realms of 'woowoo', but I promise you now, this stuff freaking works! Well, it's certainly helped me make leaps and bounds of progress in my world of unworthiness.
If you're giving any of these steps a try, I'd love to hear what you think in the comments below 🙏🏻until next weekend sweet-potato-chops 💋