3 steps to making your goals actually happen (for real this time).
I feel your frustration honey. Sometimes it feels like there's no point in even trying to create goals for yourself. I mean, you've never reached them before, so why would this time be any different?
As a result, you just end up feeling more down and stuck than you were before you filled yourself with all that fruitless, goal-setting, false hope! You don't deserve to get what you want, you're just destined for disappointment. So trying altogether is just pointless right? May as well give up and just get on with accepting your lot?
😊 Now you know I'm not gonna let you away with that kinda rolling-over talk don'tcha? 😇 Come pull up a chair and let's talk all about it ❤️️
The powerful part to cling on to here is that very feeling of frustration you have. That is your fire. It's often misinterpreted as the feeling that brings you down from your buzz and makes you wanna quit. BUT if you hang in there, it's also going to be the feeling that pulls you back up, gets you refocused, and back in the game. All you need to do is learn how to harness it and not listen to what you think it's telling you (i.e, give up loser). And that's what I'm here to help you with, 'cause you're the furthest from a loser! 🙌🏻
1. Don't overdo it with too many goals.
It's so super-easy to get carried away with your imagination and conjure up a whole array of goals you want to work towards (which is actually awesome btw, never try and cork your creative juices from flowing). But there is a difference between creating goals, and fulfilling them. And this post is all about the fulfilment and the seeing-it-through-ness of your most meaningful goals. The life-changing goals. The goals that light you up. For that part of the deal, you want to be a little more selective, especially as us normal humans have existing day-to-day commitments that are going to swallow up the vast majority of our time. Going hell for leather on any number of goals usually means we get nowhere on any of our goals. So let's get selective.
Start by committing to a goal a month – max. Big or small. If it's a biggun, maybe focus on dedicating your mind to the same goal for a number of months, or if it's a small one, dedicate every inch of your spare time to fulfilling it. Don't try and squeeze in extra goals as they'll just distract you from the one you reeeeeally want to achieve. We want results remember?
What can also be really useful, is to accurately imagine how awesome it’ll be reaching those goals, and the satisfaction you'll get from ticking them off your list. Where will you be? What will you be wearing? What are the sounds and smells? Like literally, live in that moment so much, it almost feels real. And don't relent until you reach it. But that alone is not going to make your goal happen. You've also gotta...
2. Nail down exactly why you want it.
This is a biggie. That array of goals that you came up with that I mentioned before? How many of those are just nice-to-haves, and how many are I've-gotta-haves? If you don't want your goal with a hellbent passion, you're not gonna see it through. It's a harsh truth, but you've gotta hear it. So when you sift through your array of goals and start editing down, if you don't have a true, heartfelt reason behind why you want it to happen, why it's so important to you and why you're depending on it – ditch it. Ruthlessly.
Because in pursuit of your goals, you're going to feel frustration, you're going to face obstacles that will try to take you off course, and the one thing that's going to keep you focused, is your why. Your hellbent passion behind why it means so much to you is your golden ticket. Your why will remind you what all this is for every time the going gets tough.
3. Spend 10x the time working out how.
We've covered already that you can conjure up a dream, a vision or a goal in no time at all, but when it doesn't materialise equally as quickly (or even magically out of thin air sometimes), we're very keen to quit, shrug our shoulders crestfallen, and talk ourselves into the reasons why we weren't deserving of it in the first place. (And alas, we're back to square one, with a dash of extra cynicism to boot).
But y'see, we didn't give ourselves adequate time to implement. We didn't dedicate the lion-share of our goal-setting schedule to working out how it's gonna happen. And it's where so many of us fall down. When you know what you want and why you want it, pop your strategic hat on and ask yourself – can someone help? Can research help? Can a course help? What small thing can you do right now, today to work towards it? I have some cool, different ways to come up with a bunch of strategies to getting your goals moving in my free life plan course, so defo have a look here if you're so inclined. But yep, we should be spending 5% on creating goals, 5% on working out your whys, and 90% on working out how they're gonna materialise!
What to do when frustration strikes (which it inevitably will):
Start by asking yourself what you're getting frustrated by.
Is it because what you want hasn't happened yet?
👉🏻 Is your 'why' still powerful enough to make you still want it? If it is, then that's great! Because it's easily remedied – you just keep going! Mastering patience is no easy feat, I wrote a lil' something on it here if you're interested in working on yours.
Is it because what you thought you wanted isn't turning out like you thought it'd be?
👉🏻 Has your 'why' become less important to you? If it has, then that's great! Because you can shift course and focus on something new without an ounce of regret. No why – no bueno.
The main thing to remember throughout all of this is that you have to take action – it's the only way you're going to be able to make decisions, give yourself the opportunity to grow and reach your goals. Inaction, pontification, over-worrying and what-ifs will keep you exactly where you are.
The process I've walked you through here also forms the bones of the Master Plan tool within The Imperfect Life® Planner – a tool that'll essentially help you map out your 2018. So if you're less of an independent learner (who maybe reads a blog post and thinks 'ooh that looks like a good idea, might try that', but never actually has the impetus to implement said idea), then you might need a bit of hand-holding through this and could benefit from getting your own planner to play with. Since it reached its funding goal on Kickstarter last month, the planners are now in production and will be delivered in early December! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 eeeeeeeee!
So how have you been with goal setting in the past? Or more-so, with goal-achieving? I'd love to know what you think of my strategy in the comments below!
Until next weekend 💋