Why being rejected could pretty much be the coolest thing that ever happened to you.
I've felt it. And I'm pretty sure you've felt it too. Rejection stings right? Just like the burn you felt on the palm of your hands when you scraged them across the tarmac falling over as a kid; a soreness that lingers and doesn't know when to quit.
So it's no wonder we build up this monster-size fear or being rejected inside our minds. It plainly and simply doesn't feel nice. But what a lot of us forget to do, is see that there are actual benefits to being rejected. Yup. We could be blatantly pied off and be better off for it.
K, I get that I sound like a crazy person but hear me out and let me paint some scenarios.
You've been crushing on someone for an obscene amount of time, and you finally pluck up the balls to fess up and tell them how you feel. And they don't feel the same way. Ugh. Gutting.
This is clearly an unpleasant situation to be in, but the benefit? The benefit is that you no longer have to dwell in uncertainty and what ifs anymore. You no longer have to live in the ambivalence of wasting your time 'waiting' for someone. Of course, your ego's been dented and you need to take a tiny slice of time to wallow. But when that's over, you're free to go forth and conquer however you please. Without you taking that risk of facing rejection, you'd still be in the murky, stagnant, unclear confusion of not knowing - Until. The. End. Of. Time. Sounds like great craic! And yes, this crush clearly has no taste and has missed out on the best thing that ever happened to them. But dat aint yo' problem no more! *dusts hands and walks away smugly*
Benefit: I'm freeeeeee!
You lost out on that dream client. Devvoed.
Again, you're entitled to take a brief moment here to feel a bit rubbish if you really had your heart set on taking on that client, but the benefit? This is an awesome opportunity to learn, to up your game and to move on to something bigger and better. Don't just cower into the shadows with your tail between your legs. Accept their decision with grace, communicate your gratitude for the opportunity, and enthusiastically ask if they could give you some feedback. Maybe they tell you your costs are too high, then that's something you could review and see how you can make operations leaner to be more competitive. (Never a bad thing for business). It could even be the same reason a number of other clients that loved you, declined. Whatever they say, listen and work out how what's clearly already awesome, could be even awesomer. Them saying no is giving you a free ticket to grow.
[Ooh that'd sound deadly in a rap wouldn't it?! Dem sayin' no is givin' you a free ticket to grow yo. You heard it here first if someone pinches it] :)
Btw, if they decline to give you feedback, then they're being heartless and a**holey and they've given you a glimpse into what it'd be like working with them anyway. #dodgedbullet
Benefit: Ace! I now know actionable things I can improve on!
You got turned down by an investor or missed an opportunity that could transform your business.
True. Another sore one. But more fool them. This investment or opportunity is most definitely not your only route to success. There's a big ol' world out there and anyone that ever put themselves out there creating something, that needed that magical 'yes', I'm pretty sure will tell you they endured a fat load of no's beforehand. After just a quick bit of research – JK Rowling was turned down by 12 publishers for her Harry Potter manuscript before one said yes. And the original Back to the Future script was turned down over 40 times before it was taken on. My favourite film of ALL TIME would've never been in my life if they'd have put all their hopes on one opportunity. The terror! The real trick is working on how to utilise that sh*tty feeling of rejection, and transform it into fuel for progression. I want to share this cool article on how rejection is good for business with you – it has some super-useful coping strategies on how you can create that fuel and keep it burning. Bookmark it, it's a goodun.
Benefit: The more rejections I get, the more awesome my success story's gonna be! #smellyoulaterlosers ;)
I'm not believer in fate. Now I'm a grown up, I don't buy into the notion of 'whatever was meant for you won't pass you by' and I think believing so can make you dangerously complacent. I personally don't see how that attitude is going to allow you to truly fulfil your potential and live a full life either. Which is a real shame. I'm a firm believer that you have to work your a** off for your achievements and opportunities, and if you are rejected along the way, no biggie. You just need to suck it up, see it as the best form of a real life lesson, and grow from it.
So, how are we feeling about rejection now? Are you looking forward to your next pie in the face just a tiiiiiny bit more? :)