*Tap tap* is this microphone on? Anyone fancy a bit of blog-cherry-popping?
Right. Ahem. So here we are. This feels a wee bit crazy, a little bit scary, but quite a big bit liberating. I've gotta admit. But before I launch right in, I'mma give you a bit of the back story.
Me. I'm a business owner. A wife. A mama. A Brit living in Brum that quite honestly feels like an Irish broad at heart.
But more poignantly, I'm a perfectionist. From the way I work, to the way I spread butter on toast. [Yep, right to the edges so every square millimetre is covered in butteryness].
And I'm here because after three and a half years of working for myself and building my beloved miniature empire, I've a bit of a shocker confession.
I've fallen out of love with my 'perfect', beautiful business. Like, and I mean 'I-think-we-need-a-break' type falling out of love. It's been pretty heavy.
And that's the back story. That's why I'm here.
I'm lucky to know a lot of entrepreneurs, and I know they all struggle with keeping that flame of business-passion alight from time to time. I know I'm not the only one to go through what I've been experiencing. But it's rarely spoken about in the public domain. Upholding the public glossy cover that 'business is booming and oh-so fulfilling' seems to be the Instagram-filtered way of life nowadays. Which is obvs fair enough if it works for you.
And I was that entrepreneur, I'll admit it. I set my sights on creating a well-polished business that looked the part, that made me appear bigger than I was, and for a period of time I lived it and believed it. I assumed that operating behind a veil of scale, expertise and a slick aesthetic [read perfection] was the fastest route to growth and success. And it's no bad thing if that's your bag, don't get me wrong. It works for some. But with so many brands trying to get the attention of their target market more than ever before, I believe authenticity is what you need for that cut-through. Plus man, is the veil-upholding exhausting over time. Particularly if you're a perfectionist like me.
Y'see the trouble was, I felt that I couldn't possibly make mistakes, change my mind or appear to question any of my decisions. I felt I had to outwardly have the answers to everything as that was the perfect image I'd crafted for my business. Failure or the appearance of failure was The. Worst. Thing. Ever.
But ironically, in trying to make everything so damn perfect and polished (because that's how I've always done things), I'd actually forced myself into a corner. And I came to realise, nothing truly magical is ever borne of perfection, BUT! ...the most beautiful magic can be borne of mistakes. Just think about that for a second.
And I don't know about you, but I want magic. Not perfect.
This lightbulb-moment allowed me to step back, be really honest with myself and begin to question everything. Perhaps this all came about because I'm not working on what truly fulfils me? Perhaps I no longer believe in what I'm creating? Perhaps it's because I'm a mother now and I have to be unscrupulously economical and efficient with my time? Or maybe it's a combo of all of them.
So it got me thinking, what kind of work does fulfil me then? What kind of work will create this magic I want in my life? And most importantly, what kind of work can I justify sacrificing time away from my daughter for?
And this my friend, is when The Imperfect Life and I came to be.