4 reasons why you can't make a decision about your future.
I vividly remember the amount of circles I used to think myself around when I was trying to work out what I wanted my future to look like.
And I don’t just mean on a professional level, but on a personal one too. Did I want to be this version of ‘me’? Did I want to stay in this relationship? Did I want to stay tied to this house? Did I want to stay in this neighbourhood? In this country? In fact, one of the only things that probably did feel kinda certain, was that I wanted out of ‘that job’ – I just had no idea what the way out of it looked like.
It was 2007 and I’d been upside down and inside out with depression, I’d had three really emotional losses in my life and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep going around in these overthunk circles I was swirling around in.
I didn’t realise at the time (isn’t hindsight just a magical vantage point!?), but there were four massively detrimental things that I kept doing, on loop, that kept me spinning in said circles – for way way longer than I’d needed to. And if you’ve tapped to read this post because you feel you’re in that same un-climb-out-able well of ambivalence, uncertainty and frustration with how things are, but you also can’t work out how to climb out of it either, then have a read of these, because I’m guessing that these four things are probably keeping you there too;
You think your next step has to be your ‘forever’ one.
And by that I mean, if you’re approaching decisions about your future with the idea that whatever you decide needs to be ‘for real’ this time, or ‘NOW I’m adulting properly and have to do it right’, then you’re gonna rethink yourself back into your spinning circle quicker than I can type fannyfanackapan!
Have you ever considered that the very FACT you’re trying to pressurise yourself into making the absolute right decision, is the very REASON why you can’t make that decision!? The very FACT that you feel the need to go from feeling the opposite of having your sh*t together, to then all of a sudden totally having your sh*t together, is the very REASON why it’s impossible!
And that’s exactly how I stayed stuck for so long. You can only make a decision based on the information you have to hand at the time. How can you possibly know what forever’s gonna look like?! It wasn’t until I tweaked my perspective towards my next step being more of an experiment or an adventure, that I was finally able to edge my way out of that well.
You listen too much to your inner critic, not your inner coach.
Or more so, your inner critic is probably alllllll you can hear. The jibes of ‘you’re useless’ / ‘you’re always messing stuff up’ / ‘why can’t you just make a damn decision and follow through on it?!’ to name a few! Maybe even the notion that any kind of inner coach exists is kinda laughable and hard to believe. Well if that’s true for you, it’s probably BECAUSE you listen too much to your inner critic over your inner coach. You’ve drowned the poor lamb out to the extent she’s got no volume control at all 😊
So consider for a moment, (or maybe just humour me if you don’t believe me) that there IS an inner coach inside of you. An affectionate, encouraging, positive voice that 100% has your back. She knows what majesty you’re truly capable of, she’s knows how resilient and powerful you really are and she is the guiding force of your intuition. She’s your all-knowing gut instinct that has known all along what you truly want and need in your life. Wouldn’t she be worth hearing out every now and again?
It wasn’t until I made a conscious choice to slow down on the self-beat-uppery, and toy with the idea that for once, I could be on my own team – (even if just to see what it might feel like!) that I was finally able to hear the sense and guidance my inner coach had to say.
You see your multiple passions as a hindrance, not an advantage.
Conversely, in the instance where you might be approaching this from a really positive headspace, you’re bursting with so much energy and passion for a multitude of avenues, it’s tricky to know what direction your gut and intuition is calling you to. To the extent that it kinda puts the skids on you making any progress or headway in any direction, and it just feels like a weighty, lingering hindrance.
But what if the very FACT that you’re multi-passionate can be used to your advantage? What if the very FACT that you’ve a number of avenues to explore puts you strides ahead? What if your answer is finding (or creating!) some common ground where your multiple passions co-exist? What if you read and then re-read reason #1 again, and realised all manner of assorted, exciting adventures could be ahead of you?
It wasn’t until I allowed myself to really feel proud of all the stuff I loved to do, and stopped trying to pigeon-hole myself into a conventional, niche box that’d been laid out for me, that I was finally able to set sail on my unknown entrepreneurial adventure and create a brand and a business that now feels 100% me. My journey didn’t start in a linear direction, and won’t end in one I imagine! But my diverse interests have definitely been an asset. I’ve experimented with managing my own design clients, creating my own products in different industries, to now going into coaching, personal development and education. Who knows what’s gonna be next, and that’s the fun bit!
You impose a pressure of perfection on your work-in-progress, as well as your results.
So how could you possibly make any decisions about your future? Like ever?! If every single step you take, if every single move you make, you’re holding yourself to the expectation of *perfect* – when will you ever be able to move forward and grow?
Because it’s impossible.
And that’s what’s slippery about perfection, she makes you think she’s achievable. She lures you in like some hypnotic seductress, teasing you with the idea of ‘when you get…you’ll be able to’ or ‘once you’ve…you’ll be perfect at’ – and it’s nonsense! Because you’ll never ‘arrive’ there! She doesn’t exist! She doesn’t exist in your end result (creating some ‘perfect’ life), and she certainly doesn’t exist in your day-to-day (when you’re trying to be all things to all people in all areas of your life).
So something’s gotta give right? You’ve gotta take the reins at some point and figure out how to step away from the idea that your next step has to be your ‘forever’ step. You need to figure out how to crank up the volume of your inner coach and mute the feck out of your inner critic. You need to figure out how to use your bank of options to your advantage and gain clarity. You need to figure out how to strip away this marker of perfection from your day-to-day, and from your end result, so you can fiiiiiinally get moving. So you can fiiiiiinally make decisions about your future, and you can fiiiiiinally start freaking living it.
Now imagine there were a way you could figure all this out and get support while you do it 😁
Now imagine that you don’t have to imagine! Because The Imperfect Life® Designer online program is opening its doors super-soon. If any of the above rings true for you, join the waitlist below and be the first to hear about how you can make this year your turning point.
Hope you’ve enjoyed the read babycakes 😉 until next weekend 💋